captain_jtkirk | A New Message From Your Captain of Awesome

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A New Message From Your Captain of Awesome

[Like before, Kirk's voice floods the entirety of the Barge. He sounds just as smug as before but now with an even better reason.]

So.

Are we done throwing fits over nothing, children? The Barge is sailing smoothly. No one's been hurt. We're headed towards our new port, which I promise, you're going to love.

And this is a time to celebrate!

My dear Inmate has graduated, it seems! And I think we should all take a moment to congratulate him on his success. You'll all find some champagne in your rooms. Toast at your own convenience.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Congratulations on the inmate.

But I gotta ask, how long have you been here?

Going on three months. Why?

So you know how people around here react to things. And yet you have the stupidity to pull a stunt like this, as though everyone is just going to sit back and relax and let you?

I heard talk of a mob starting to come mutiny against me.

You were behind that weren't you?

Actually, I'm the guy trying to prevent a mob coming to get you. I've got a couple guys looking for how you got into the control room, but they're not a mob and if they find anything they've got strict orders to report back, not go storming in. This situation has an easy possibility of devolving into violence, and frankly you'll be lucky if you're not stoned or something when you come back down here.

I want to resolve this situation easily, without violence or a lot of stupid pointless arguing. I hear you're planning on standing down once we've hit port. Which is a good start. But my advice? Be less of a jackass.

I merely responded with the attitude that I was given. If people want me to be nice to them, then they should probably stop insulting my integrity, sanity, and telling me that I'm going to 'get it'.

How did you expect people to react? You know these people, and you know most of them aren't going to thank you.

I don't need people to like me and sometimes, you have to do things that people don't like to help them out.

That doesn't change the fact that you could've started another riot. What you did was irresponsible and self-serving.

Your friends speak very highly of you, and I take it you're a good leader and probably a good man. But this was a wrong move, captain.

When you're done playing around in there, don't go wandering around. Report to someone you trust and stay there until everybody's quit screaming at each other. I'd like to avoid you being lynched, but I'm not taking responsibility if you are.

Perhaps the only thing I did wrong was telling everyone about it. No one would even have noticed if I hadn't said anything.

But that's besides the point.

It seems like everyone's done screaming at each other for the most part. I'm kind of counting on them being much more relaxed after the port and if they're not, then that is just sad.

Maybe.

They'll probably start screaming again once it comes to deciding what to do with you.

You sure you wouldn't consider stepping down now? Letting the Admiral take us into port? It might make things easier on you in the long run.

Why only me? There's three of us up here in case you forgot.

I'm sure. I have it on good authority that the Admiral hasn't made a smooth landing anywhere in a long time and I think that Han should be given a chance.

All of you.

As long as you're aware that you're not going to get off scot-free, and the longer you drag this out the worse it'll go for you.

That's better.

We'll reach our destination in two or three days. We can talk reprimands after that.

Actually, I don't think you'll be in on that discussion.

Tell Han not to crash land this thing. I don't want to get stuck wherever we're going, if it's all the same to you.

You're not even going to let me watch my own trial? That seems horribly unethical.

I promise we'll have the smoothest landing yet.

I meant, you won't have a say in what your 'reprimand' will be. Stand back and gawk to your heart's content. Hell, if the people around here are feeling charitable they might even listen to some kind of explanation if you've got one. If they don't rip your head off first.

Good.

Not allowing someone to defend himself in a trial is also horribly unethical.

Maybe you should have thought of how angry and uncharitable people around here would be feeling before you pissed off or alienated almost all of them.

You're really doing nothing to inspire me to cooperate.

The Wardens here really are overgrown children, aren't they? I'm not saying I'm a shining example of maturity but at least I admit it.

A group is only as smart and mature as its stupidest and most immature member. You admitting it, though, is actually a little refreshing.

Everything that's been said about me is probably true is some form or another.

Except for the stupid comments. I'm impulsive, there's a difference.

If you were stupid, I doubt you'd have been able to take over the ship.

The general impression I've gotten from speaking to you and your friends is that you're an immature but intelligent pain in the ass who's probably saved at least a few thousand lives and could be a great leader if he'd wise up a little and tone down the attitude.

A few billion lives actually. Lots of people live on Earth, I hear.

But yeah, that about sums me up. Maybe tack on an addiction to adrenaline and that I wasn't hugged enough as a child and there I am.

Oh and I'm great in bed.

Saved the planet?

A New Message From Your Captain of Awesome

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