.001 | video

[captain_jtkirk]

Okay, to save time, my name is James T. Kirk. I'm the Captain of the USS Enterprise. I've decided to come here as a Warden... to come back as a Warden?

[He has to ponder this for a moment.]

Honestly, I know I was here before but I must've been wasted the entire time because I don't remember any of it. So fill me in. What happened, what I'd do.

If you have no idea either, then hi. Nice to meet you.

Comments

[mistconduct]

You want to try running intros again? This time being less of a prick about it?

[captain_jtkirk]

You were the one who opened with the demands. To be fair.

[mistconduct]

To be fair, any moron could see sarcasm like that coming a mile away. You sure you're a Captain?

[captain_jtkirk]

Last I checked.

But you can call me Jim.

[mistconduct]

Cool. Call me Chris.

[captain_jtkirk]

I still want to know why Red Mist as a codename though.

[mistconduct]

You know that pattern of bloodspray you get when you shoot someone in the face and it blows out the back of their head?

Red Mist, motherfucker.

[captain_jtkirk]

Very classy.

[mistconduct]

Well, y'know. Inmate.

[captain_jtkirk]

Are you saying that it's mutually exclusive or that you are an Inmate because you aren't classy?

[mistconduct]

I'm an inmate. Being classy is not something I'm hugely concerned about.

[captain_jtkirk]

I would've thought it's because you're what? Seventeen? Eighteen?

[mistconduct]

Seventeen. But yeah, sure, that too.

Private for your sake

[captain_jtkirk]

Really though, why are you here?

Private

[mistconduct]

Getting a little personal, aren't we? Why don't I just ask you what your deal is if we're going to be in each other's business from day one?

Private

[captain_jtkirk]

I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.

Private

[mistconduct]

What's yours?

Private

[captain_jtkirk]

I asked first.

Private

[mistconduct]

I shot a girl and betrayed a guy I'd led to believe I was his friend which directly led to the girl's father, my dad, and me all dying.

Your turn.

Private

[captain_jtkirk]

I'm here for the continued safety of my crew.

Private

[mistconduct]

Makes sense. Captain and all.

Private

[captain_jtkirk]

I'm fond of most of them.

Private

[mistconduct]

So are you only going to save a certain percent of them, or what? Just the guys you like?

Private

[captain_jtkirk]

Spock can probably figure out how to save himself.

Private

[mistconduct]

You wouldn't save Spock? Come on, dude.