.001 | video

[captain_jtkirk]

Okay, to save time, my name is James T. Kirk. I'm the Captain of the USS Enterprise. I've decided to come here as a Warden... to come back as a Warden?

[He has to ponder this for a moment.]

Honestly, I know I was here before but I must've been wasted the entire time because I don't remember any of it. So fill me in. What happened, what I'd do.

If you have no idea either, then hi. Nice to meet you.

Comments

Private

[mistconduct]

So are you only going to save a certain percent of them, or what? Just the guys you like?

Private

[captain_jtkirk]

Spock can probably figure out how to save himself.

Private

[mistconduct]

You wouldn't save Spock? Come on, dude.

Private - you can fourth wall him i haven't done my perssions but it's cool

[captain_jtkirk]

Do you even know who Spock is?

Private - Awesome, thank you! Chris tries not to but he doesn't quite have a handle on things

[mistconduct]

Pointy eared Vulcan dude?

Private -nw! it's jim kirk i mean come on. nerd away

[captain_jtkirk]

...

How do you know that?

Private :D Fantastic! Thanks so much.

[mistconduct]

I'm totally psychic.

Private

[captain_jtkirk]

Cute.

But really, how?

Private

[mistconduct]

Really. I'm psychic. Your ship's the USS Enterprise. You get it on with all the space ladies.

Private

[captain_jtkirk]

A serious answer now, kiddo.

Private

[mistconduct]

Call me kiddo again and I'll use my mind powers to Force-choke you to death.

Private

[captain_jtkirk]

[Please, Kirk wrote the book on how to be a sassy teenager.]

Sure you will. Kiddo.

Private

[mistconduct]

You dare question my motherfucking powers?!

Private

[captain_jtkirk]

Yeah I think I am.

Private

[mistconduct]

Bitch, I'll make your head explode. Don't try me. I'll fucking do it.

Private

[captain_jtkirk]

Then why aren't you?

Private

[mistconduct]

They take a while to charge up. You know how it is. Solar flares and shit.

Private

[captain_jtkirk]

Are you always this annoying and weird?

Private

[mistconduct]

Was that a serious question?

{aka ALWAYS]

Private

[captain_jtkirk]

Guess not.

Private

[mistconduct]

Serious answer, it's because my universe is some sort of crazy pivot point that likes to steal other universes' ideas and make them legend. We're culture-stealers.

Private

[captain_jtkirk]

[This is what he focuses on.]

So I'm a legend where you're from?

Private

[mistconduct]

You're pretty goddamn legendary where I come from, yeah. Most people think you're just a myth.

Private

[captain_jtkirk]

Lucky you, that you get to meet me.

Private

[mistconduct]

Yeah, except I was way more of a superhero than a space captain kind of kid. No offense, man.