captain_jtkirk | A Message From Your New Captain

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A Message From Your New Captain

[Much like when the Admiral makes his announcements, the voice of one James T. Kirk floods the hallways and rooms of the Barge and he sounds oh so very pleased with himself.]

Attention people of the Barge.

We've had ourselves a little adventure recently and I won't bore you with the details because it's a long though at times, riveting tale. So I'll just cut to the chase: our dear Admiral isn't running this thing anymore.

I am.

James T. Kirk for those of you haven't had the pleasure. Along with Captain Harkness and Captain Solo who is taking control of the helm.

And yeah. That's all.

Have a nice day.

[ooc: Plot questions go here. IC freak outs or congratulations or WTFGETDOWNFROMTHERE happen here.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

People learn best through action, I've discovered. The best way to prove that I'm the best captain is to keep on being in command and not crashing.

I'll give them two days to calm down and then I'll listen to any complaints that are put my way.

They don't seem to be appreciating the smooth ride.

Fine, watchful waiting it is. I guess that means that game of yours has been put on hold.

They are truly a bunch of ungrateful children.

Don't you know, Bones? This kind of means that I've won.

It's a prison, what do you expect?

Like hell you did. Once things calm down your ungrateful ass is getting dragged to this sickbay even if you go kicking and screaming like usual.

You can't find me either, you know.

I sure as hell better not be able to, because if I can several others will be able to at that.

Bones, trust me on this, no one is getting in here.

Have fun locked up in your castle.

I'd invite you up here but I'm afraid you'll stab me with a needle.

Edited 2009-08-03 04:06 (UTC)

It's the thought that counts. If you want to be useful think of a way I can store the medical records without inmates getting a chance to rifle through them.

Put the information on your PADD and then either keep it on you at all times or lock it in your room.

It could probably even reprogrammed so only you can access the files on it.

It's not secure enough, some of the information could be dangerous in some raging inmate's hands.

I'll ask Chekov what he can do about encrypting it. Sometimes it feels like we're working inside a damned computer with all this nonsense.

Too bad Scotty isn't here. He'd have a field day with that.

You could... write it in code too. Just in case anyone ever hacked it.

Hell, he would have thanked me for asking the favor.

I'm a doctor man, not a damned linguist- or a grade schooler making secret codes. I'll keep the PADD with me, I doubt half these fools could work their way around it well enough to consider hacking.

What if someone seduces you and steals it and just happened to be a genius with technology?

I'll keep an eye on the moral character of the people who try to seduce me.

Wait, I forgot who I was talking to.

The information's in safe hands.

Meaning I think with my head instead of other parts on my anatomy, so yes Jim, it's safe.

Meaning that you never use your private parts, so they've probably fallen off by now and so you can't be seduced at all.

I know this may be a hard concept for you to wrap your thick skull around but said parts don't break if you fail to use them for a day.

I'm pretty sure they break after three years. That's how long it's been since the ex right?

You're buying yourself another vaccine there farm boy.

[He adopts that terrible Southern drawl again, just for this one line:]

I'm Doctor Bones and I stab people with needles because I'm sexually frustrated and I really like to take it out on Jim because he's so much better looking then me.

Stick to your day job of angering mobs and twirling in that chair of yours, psychiatry isn't doing it for you kid. And what did I tell you before about butchering that accent?

[Accent's still there but now even MORE terrible.]

You know, you're goin' to ruin your ability to perform surgery if you keep abusin' your right hand like that.

Edited 2009-08-03 17:48 (UTC)

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