captain_jtkirk | .006 - kirk is a teenaged girl on the inside

Entry tags:

.006 - kirk is a teenaged girl on the inside

Dear Diary,

This weekend I learned that I'm destined to marry Spock, settle down on New Vulcan, have 14 mostly human children, drive a red corvette and live happily ever after as a space pirate.

I really have a lot to look forward to in life.

[Have a tiny, tiny pause and then he actually sounds sincere about this next part.]

Thanks, Claire. I had fun.

[Private to Tim]

Can I talk to you?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[OH BOY. Tim breaks out the blank look.]

What about her?

[You aren't fooling him.]

"Tim. C'mon. Be a man and admit it."

[:|]

Admit what, exactly?

"Tim."

[You get a line face right back for that. Kirk is less impressed than he was ten minutes ago by you.]

[Nope, he already pissed her off by forgetting to mention that Sylar could read his private messages. NOT HAPPENING AGAIN.] I can dance around a subject as long as you can, Jim.

"Alright, I'll just cut to the chase then."

[Kirk grabs his phaser off his belt and levels it across the table at him. Calm down, the safety is on. For now.]

"I know you two are dancing around dating. She told me. Actually, she handed me her communicator and wasn't dumb enough to assume the guy who hacked an unbeatable test wasn't going to hack that too.

So here's the deal. I am not going to stand by and watch her get hurt by someone here again. And you either care enough about her to never want that to happen either or you don't care, and I'm going to shoot you and when you wake up, you're going to break it off now."

[Well. Crap. Tim's hands moved immediately to the edge of the table, but he stayed very still. Safety or not, he wasn't going to sit around and wait to be shot. Even with a very awesome looking phaser and now really wasn't the time to geek out. He was ready to turn the table over if Kirk went for the safety.

Fighting Captain Kirk. That was definitely not something he ever thought he'd do.]

Do you have any idea how ridiculous it is that you're telling me this? [Jackass. :| But Tim exhales through his nose, and frowns at Jim.] I don't want to hurt her. I don't plan on hurting her. And I'm going to try pretty damned hard to make sure no one else hurts her, either.

"Oh I know. But I'm not dating her. Nor do I want to date her."

[Jim stares him down for a few moments, kind of enjoying it when Tim looked like he was going to bolt.]

"If you go crazy on her, I'll shoot you for that too. Fair warning."

[Not bolt. FLIP SOME FUCKING TABLES. GET SOME, KIRK. Or not, that would probably end poorly.]

If I go crazy on anyone, I'd expect to be stopped.

"Okay great, we have an understanding then."

[Kirk puts the phaser down, though way far out of your reach, so don't even try it, punk.]

"You have to name your first born after me too."

[But. But he wants to see it. And take it apart. And learn its secrets. And put it back together. And take pictures with it. :c]

You probably shouldn't hold your breath.

[You have to ask to touch it, Tim. Or else he'll assume you're trying to shoot him first.]

"I like lofty goals."

[Paranoid. :|] Obviously.

[...Okay now that that's out of the way and he can't stop staring at the phaser, he's going to nod at it.] Can I see it?

[YOU'RE ONE TO TALK. HE'S HACKED YOUR COMPUTER TOO YOU KNOW]

"Why?"

[....THAT'S RIGHT. GOD YOU SUCK, KIRK.]

Childhood dream?

[Keep talking like that and you can't touch anything of his.]

"Maybe you should've joined Starfleet."

[...He just wants to touch the non-euphemistic phaser.]

If I could have, I probably would have.

[That makes Kirk laugh. And slid it over the table at him. Mostly because he pities you for being such a loser.]

"If you break it, I'll have to beat you down with the pieces."

[That snort covers his BOYISH GLEE. He grabs it and is already looking for how to take it apart.] You'll try.

"I've taken on Romulans face to face, I think I can handle you, kiddo."

[Having a secret ID has wounded his pride so much.] Maybe. I guess Romulans are pretty tough. [He could take one. :|]

[But could you take on an irate Vulcan? No.]

You are roughly half their size. No offense.

[Hey. He was trained by the god damned Batman. He can do anything.]

None taken; just means I'm faster.

[KIRK DOES NOT KNOW THIS. PS: ROBIN IS GAY]

"I would honestly pay to see that someday."

[WHERE DID THAT COME FROM.]

Guess you'll have to find me a pissed off Vulcan. Or a Romulan.

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM

SPAM