captain_jtkirk | .006 - kirk is a teenaged girl on the inside

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.006 - kirk is a teenaged girl on the inside

Dear Diary,

This weekend I learned that I'm destined to marry Spock, settle down on New Vulcan, have 14 mostly human children, drive a red corvette and live happily ever after as a space pirate.

I really have a lot to look forward to in life.

[Have a tiny, tiny pause and then he actually sounds sincere about this next part.]

Thanks, Claire. I had fun.

[Private to Tim]

Can I talk to you?

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"I should mention that actually fighting for money makes you look less stable in my eyes."

I've got the phaser now. I'm not that worried.

"Which you're in the process of pulling apart. Do you know how to put those back together?"

I've got a good memory. [He is happily pulling this thing to pieces. Seriously. Childhood glee.]

[You're worrying him a little. You really are.]

"Do you want me to leave it with you for a few days or something? I'm going camping later and I have an extra one."

[Shut up he's about to go to his happy place.] Man, would you? I mean, that'd be awesome. And I might forgive you for pulling a father routine on me.

[This is insanely creepy, you know.]

"I'm protective of her. Even if she doesn't want me to be. Even if it means protecting her from myself."

[Lies.] And how are you going to do that?

[Well he doesn't really have a plan, so fuck you Tim. Or he does but he doesn't feel comfortable talking to you about his feelings.]

"I'll shoot myself."

[HEY. He's just asking the important questions.]

...That sounds like a pretty bad plan.

[Mind your own business, punk.]

"I think she'd really enjoy it."

[Never.]

I'm still going with terrible plan.

[Jim shrugged.]

[And Tim went back to tinkering.]

"Right. So you hold on to those pieces for a few days. Don't put it back together and hurt anyone with it. And I do expect it back, by the way. I'm not forgetting about it."

I'm not going to hurt anyone, but it'll probably end up back together. [He tries hard not to roll his eyes.] You'll get it back. Thanks.

"Just saying, if you accidentally shoot anyone with it, I'm going to say you stole it from me."

Fair enough.

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.006 - kirk is a teenaged girl on the inside

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SPAM - I JUDGE YOU FOR REPLYING TO THAT

SPAM - I WAS INDULGING YOUR ALCOHOLIC NATURE

SPAM - I wasn't drunk, I was just being lazy

SPAM - oh. Well you suck.