captain_jtkirk | .006 - kirk is a teenaged girl on the inside

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.006 - kirk is a teenaged girl on the inside

Dear Diary,

This weekend I learned that I'm destined to marry Spock, settle down on New Vulcan, have 14 mostly human children, drive a red corvette and live happily ever after as a space pirate.

I really have a lot to look forward to in life.

[Have a tiny, tiny pause and then he actually sounds sincere about this next part.]

Thanks, Claire. I had fun.

[Private to Tim]

Can I talk to you?

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[That makes Kirk laugh. And slid it over the table at him. Mostly because he pities you for being such a loser.]

"If you break it, I'll have to beat you down with the pieces."

[That snort covers his BOYISH GLEE. He grabs it and is already looking for how to take it apart.] You'll try.

"I've taken on Romulans face to face, I think I can handle you, kiddo."

[Having a secret ID has wounded his pride so much.] Maybe. I guess Romulans are pretty tough. [He could take one. :|]

[But could you take on an irate Vulcan? No.]

You are roughly half their size. No offense.

[Hey. He was trained by the god damned Batman. He can do anything.]

None taken; just means I'm faster.

[KIRK DOES NOT KNOW THIS. PS: ROBIN IS GAY]

"I would honestly pay to see that someday."

[WHERE DID THAT COME FROM.]

Guess you'll have to find me a pissed off Vulcan. Or a Romulan.

[IT JUST NEEDS TO BE SAID EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE]

"That'll be easy. I piss off one or the other every week anyway."

[NO. NO IT DOES NOT.]

Well yeah, but you getting in a fight won't get me your money.

"I should mention that actually fighting for money makes you look less stable in my eyes."

I've got the phaser now. I'm not that worried.

"Which you're in the process of pulling apart. Do you know how to put those back together?"

I've got a good memory. [He is happily pulling this thing to pieces. Seriously. Childhood glee.]

[You're worrying him a little. You really are.]

"Do you want me to leave it with you for a few days or something? I'm going camping later and I have an extra one."

[Shut up he's about to go to his happy place.] Man, would you? I mean, that'd be awesome. And I might forgive you for pulling a father routine on me.

[This is insanely creepy, you know.]

"I'm protective of her. Even if she doesn't want me to be. Even if it means protecting her from myself."

[Lies.] And how are you going to do that?

[Well he doesn't really have a plan, so fuck you Tim. Or he does but he doesn't feel comfortable talking to you about his feelings.]

"I'll shoot myself."

[HEY. He's just asking the important questions.]

...That sounds like a pretty bad plan.

[Mind your own business, punk.]

"I think she'd really enjoy it."

[Never.]

I'm still going with terrible plan.

[Jim shrugged.]

[And Tim went back to tinkering.]

"Right. So you hold on to those pieces for a few days. Don't put it back together and hurt anyone with it. And I do expect it back, by the way. I'm not forgetting about it."

.006 - kirk is a teenaged girl on the inside

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SPAM - I JUDGE YOU FOR REPLYING TO THAT

SPAM - I WAS INDULGING YOUR ALCOHOLIC NATURE

SPAM - I wasn't drunk, I was just being lazy

SPAM - oh. Well you suck.