captain_jtkirk | .062 - it's hard to be a lady

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.062 - it's hard to be a lady

[Private to Bones]

Are you working in the Infirmary right now?

[Private to Uhura]

I have questions for you.

[Private to T'Pol]

Do you still have that thing I gave you for Christmas?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Of course, Captain.

What questions do you have?

I'm pretty sure that my new breasts aren't even the same size.

Normal?

CAPTAIN! That is completely inappropriate to ask.

But...yes. That is normal.

Uhura. We're both currently not the sex we were born and wearing each other's clothes right now.

I really doubt how inappropriate it was.

Yes but...

Fine. I answered your question.

I have other ones...

Me first.

Why are you asking me this? Surely there are plenty of women who would love to answer these questions for you.

Because I trust you?

Oh alright. What are your other questions?

Do you honestly have this heightened sense of smell all the time?

I have no idea what you're talking about. What are you smelling?

Everything. I used to have no problem with my quarters and now I can't stand it. It's like old sweat, whiskey and... some other stuff.

Oh, I don't think it's really about a heightened sense of smell. I think it's about...caring more. I don't know, Captain. Your room has smelled like that every time I've been there.

Maybe you should clean it.

I did. Pretty sure that the sex smell is never coming out.

Oh, God.

Captain. Please. I do not want to think of you having sex. I caught you and Gaila at the Academy and that was more than enough, thank you.

That better not be what you consider sex because we weren't even naked.

YET!

What other questions do you have?

To be honest, the mood died when she said that she loved me.

Pretty sure I have some kind of lump in my lopsided breasts. Still normal?

She said-

Wait. No. A lump is not normal. How did you even find the- nevermind. Do not answer that.

I'm really not proud of what happened with Gaila. For the record.

Uh... alright. But you ladies have them all the time, right?

No, Captain. Lumps are not normal. You need to have that looked at. Depending on how long this flood lasts...

Heh. It better not last much longer. I'm tired of being a woman. It's much better to just have sex with them.

I hope it does not last much longer either, Captain. Being a man has done nothing but...

Well, it's boring.

I bet you could convince Spock to overlook the man part.

I wouldn't want him to.

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Private- That's CHEATING

Private - FU THAT'S WHAT HE DOES BEST

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