captain_jtkirk

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.036

I'm not apologizing for anything, because it wasn't me and none of it will ever be me.

[He means the illegitimate child that was hidden from him because he isn't father material. Wah, this could really happen back home :c It's a sore point for him.]

But I will say, Dick you make a damn good partner, T'Pol we make fine looking children, I hope that a bullet didn't actually hit you Shego and Tim, that hat was ridiculous. Oh and if my ship ever gets equated to a bitchy horse again, I will commandeer this thing all over again and we'll see how you like it, Admiral.

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Yeah, because I'm all about sparing people's feelings.

He compared sex to a magical doorway of love.

I noticed. Is there a reason incoming for dragging that back up?

It just makes me laugh remembering it. That kid should never drink.

All of which adds up to a totally legitimate reason to bring up something I found incredibly humiliating, right?

Are you going to be in a mood for a while? Cause I can just leave you alone until it passes.

I don't know. How long are you going to be a jerk?

Maybe like three days. [Baw baby angst]

...

That's...specific. Kirk, did something happen?

Do you think I have children? That there are little Kirk bastards running around, mothered by women who decide I don't get to know because I'm not dad material?

~~...Really? Who on the Barge has the memory of raising your spawn?~~

I think birth control has moved on since the nineteenth century.

It's still not a hundred percent and I'm kind of an idiot sometimes.

Outstanding.

...

Honestly? Yeah. For all either of us know, there might be a couple half-Kirks out in the universe somewhere. It's....kind of a hazard of your lifestyle.

That doesn't mean I shouldn't be informed about my bastards.

Have you considered this from the hypothetical mom's perspective?

There's no excuse for not even giving me the option. Even if she was sure I was going to refuse responsibility, then there's nothing to lose.

And I wouldn't do that anyway. [Baw, he never had a dad.]

Why not? Why would you even feel invested in the product of a relationship that might've lasted less than twenty-four hours?

Leaving my kid without a father is not a Kirk legacy I have any intention of upholding.

So now you're suggesting that you're the only guy who could possibly be a dad to a kid that's genetically 'yours', even if you didn't want it to begin with?

I should at least be given the chance to try. Kids scare the shit out of me but so do ice monsters.

~~Your response to at least one ice monster was to run away screaming and hide in a cave until somebody older and more responsible dealt with it. How is this helping your argument?~~

Cap'n, if this bugs you so much, why don't you drop a line to every woman you've ever slept with and check? Take a week off the Barge and go home to do it, I totally won't be mad. Hey, I'll even give you a freebie to start off: I have never had any kids, least of all yours.

Edited 2011-05-24 20:47 (UTC)

I feel like I would've noticed if you had children.

And that would take a lot longer then a week.

Fine. Take two weeks. Four. Five. However long it takes to make sure your legacy isn't thriving across all four corners of the universe. And I'll be kinda impressed if you know all their names and numbers.

I have most of them. The one I don't have is probably a plot twist to come back to bite me in the ass when I'm fifty in the movie that is my life.

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