captain_jtkirk | .020 - [Filtered to McCoy]

See my earlier statement about what I am and am not. Unless that emergency is chlamydia, which I'm almost sure I already dosed you for, keep your pants on kid.

Fine. I'll just have to do it all myself.

You're not going to use this sock ever again, are you?

Get away from my laundry! God damn it Jim, do you even know the meaning of personal boundaries?

You know my Inmate called you my life partner the other day. And I'm pretty sure that life partners share everything so...

Your inmate had a few things to say about you too there slick.

I'm coming back, I swear to god if you pull a Pavi on me and have your clothes off I am throwing your sorry ass out.

Gossiping about me now, Bones? How lovely of you.

What if I never got dressed?

Edited 2009-09-09 03:26 (UTC)

I had a few stories I thought she'd enjoy.

Then you have five minutes to do so.

Of course you did.

Alright fine, I'm wearing clothes.

[He's back in six minutes, which is more than enough time in his opinion. When he opens the door though it takes him a moment to realize the thing that was off. He rolls his eyes, shutting the door behind him.] Blue's not your color Jim.

"All of my clothes are dirty."

[Kirk gives him an innocent little smirk, not bothering to move from his spot on McCoy's bed. Where he's been all day. For some reason he never made it back to his room after the weekend.]

"And that's not true. The blue goes very well with my eyes."

Do you hear yourself? 'It goes well with my eyes.' [He'd roll his eyes again but he settles for rubbing his forehead. The Barge gave him a headache sometimes, and not only from the man before him.] Then do your damned laundry, I'm not your maid. I don't want your dirty clothes stinking up the place either.

[He glances over, brow lifting at the state of his clothes.] I keep forgetting how short you are.

"Bones, we're like the same height."

[The problem really is that Bones is broader in the shoulders and Jim is more the lean, athletic type. But they are the same height. It says so in their Starfleet files, not that Kirk has really ever bothered to test it.

He pushes the sleeve further up his arm, studying the doctor with sharp eyes.]

"Do you have a headache or something? You seem grumpier then usual."

Oh do I? [He begins, an obvious sign Kirk was a fool for opening that can of worms.] Well between a couple of shootings, the Barge's hair brained idea what just because you come back means death is a god damned trifle and the warden's unrest life is a dream. These people can be a bunch of idiots- do you really think that dying won't have some sort of effect in the long run? The body can only handle so much trauma and can only heal so much. Do you know how dangerous biobeds can be? Forcing a body to heal at an accelerated, unnatural rate can cause more issues than the initial injury.

[He huffs, flopping down next to Jim with the same scowl.] The whole thing is damned unnatural, I don't like it.

[Kirk arches an eyebrow at that, listening to the rant in silence because he's pretty at that kind of thing. Most of the time he tunes out what Bones is saying but he really is bored right now, so he listens.]

"At least I haven't died yet?"

[He's going for optimistic.]

[Jim gets a withering look for his trouble.] And here I didn't believe in miracles.

[He pauses a moment before sighing.] Please tell me that post was filtered. [He really should have checked. Pavi would have a field day.]

"Bones. I was recently accused of raping someone. Do you honestly think that I'm stupid enough to not make that private?"

[Bones gets a look right back at him to go with that question.]

"You'd clearly be labeled my next victim."

[Bones can't help but snort at that.] How can I forget your sordid deeds?

[He sighs, flicking Jim's temple with his fingers.] Enough about that idiot and her claims. It nearly got you killed.

"I really don't even know how you can dare to let such a dangerous sexual fiend like me sleep in the same room as you."

[Jim shoves his friend right back in response to the flick.]

"We could... celebrate life together?"

[He can't help it. He really, honestly can't.]

What can I say, I live life on the edge. [He says, dry as dry can be.]

[And elbows Kirk right back with a roll of the eyes.] And why can't we do that with drinking like we normally do Jim? I want to hear this logic.

[Kirk protests the elbow because somehow, in all of his doctor voodoo magic, Bones managed to hit a pressure point.]

"Because sex is more fun than drinking?"

[He pauses for a half second before adding,] "And if I have to liquor you up, that's going to reflect really poorly on me."

[His lips quirk at how the hit lands.] Good job Jim, that was logic to make Spock proud.

[He raises his brow.] First off a lot of things are more fun and safe than drinking yet here we are, second you couldn't out drink me if you tried, light weight, so it wouldn't be an option.

[That pretty much succeeds in distracting the young captain's mind from sex, as he narrows his eyes at Bones, sensing the challenge in those words.]

"Bring out the liquor then, Bones. We'll do this shot for shot, like real men and I'll show you a lightweight."

Is everything a god damned contest to you? [Bones scowls but gets up, because he had been planning on having a drink to begin with and at least this distracted Jim from being an idiot unsupervised.]

[Besides, like hell the farm boy was going to beat him. He pulls out a bottle of Tennessee whiskey and two shots, grabbing the desk chair to place them on as he takes a seat next to Jim.] Alright Iowa, let's see just how much of that talk you can back up. [He pours the first two shots and hands one to Jim.]

"Sorry there wasn't whiskey in my bottle, Georgia. Those were the days when my mother still pretended she cared." [He sounds more like he's mocking Bones then being bitter about his shitty childhood, so that's something. Sort of.

He decides not to dwell on it and throws back the first shot, holding out his glass for another.]

"Don't hurt your liver trying to keep up with me, old man."

[Bones just lifts a brow at that, downing his own shot and refilling the two. He looks like he wants to say something, about his mother and how she did care but he lets the moment pass. Some people didn't make good parents, as good as their intentions were. Hell, he was one of them.]

[He takes the drink and refills his glass, waiting for Jim.] I should be saying that to you since if you do I'll be the one dealing with your endless whining. [He pauses.] When was the first time you got drunk? Let me guess, whatever happened ended in something dangerous and potentially illegal yet somehow you got out of it scott free.

Well when you put it so delicate and romantically.

:)

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