captain_jtkirk | .020 - [Filtered to McCoy]

The only thing lucky about you is the fact you survive all your bad luck. [Bones shoots back, automatically refilling. He was beginning to feel a pleasant buzz, more from the speed of the shots than anything. Didn't matter- like hell he was going to let the little shit lord this over him.]

Kid, the only one with worse luck than you is me. I'll probably end up pushing you out of the way of one hit straight into a worse one. [He huffs in irritation.]

"That's a matter of perspective, Bones, not luck. For example, you're always assuming the worst while I like the glass is half full analogy better."

[Kirk is buzzed but he's also had way more practice downing shots in quick succession because maybe a little bit of that assumption that he's no better then a college frat boy is true. So he's holding his own pretty well.]

"You're just unlucky cause you're grumpy. I'm sunshine, so everything always works out."

Glass is half- let's count here. You were called out on cheating by an irate Vulcan, who later choked you over the console in full view of the bridge. You were dumped on some god forsaken ball of ice by said irate Vulcan, did whatever Vulcan voo doo with the older one, nearly drowned our Chief of Engineering, got roughed up further by irate Romulans and topped it all off with a suicide mission that nearly got you killed. [Enjoy his gestures at this exciting tale.] The only lucky part of any of that is the fact you lived. Do you even realize-

[He trails off, rolling his eyes as he downs another shot. He may have a bit of a tendency to dwell on what if's and yes, pessimism, but it didn't make his points any less valid damnit.]

The worst of it all is this god damned 'alternate timeline' crap. [He sounds uncomfortable at the very idea.]

[Jim listens through the rant, smiling softly by the end of it.]

"I space jumped onto a tiny platform too."

[And that's really all he has to say about it. He knows how lucky he is that he survived, that everyone survived. The paranoia doesn't keep him up at night though. He's alive, he got an adrenaline rush, he beat Pike's dare, and to top everything off, he got a starship to boot.]

"Preaching to the choir, Bones." [He pauses for half a second.] "Do you think old you would have sex with old me?"

What the hell is a space jump- nevermind, I don't even want to picture it. [Bones pinches the bridge of his nose as though warding off a headache.]

[That question makes him lower his hand, an exasperated expression crossing his face.] I don't even know if 'old you' and 'old me' were friends. For all we know your CMO could have been Puri. [He lifts his empty glass in honor of the dead man and sighs.]

I realize you're bored out of your thick skull but I'm not some damned pet project. I'm sure there are plenty of other stubborn people you can throw the effort at for kicks.

"I was in the shuttle Pike took over to the Narada. And then I jumped out of it to land on and disable the drill." [Kirk tells him anyway, just because he likes to talk about all of the dangerous things that he's done.

He's quiet for a long moment, watching Bones curiously.] "Bones, I don't just expend effort on things just because I'm bored." [He holds out his glass expectantly.] "Old Spock said we were friends too, by the way."

[McCoy runs a hand over his face, dropping the hand and glaring as he refills Jim's glass and then his own.] Then add that to the list. I didn't sneak you on board to be the ship's suicide mission poster boy believe it or not.

Then why Jim? Because it's a big, shiny challenge? [His tone is slightly exasperated but it falls to a more thoughtful shade.] In every reality then? [He snorts, raising his shot in mock toast.]

"Why did you sneak me on then?"

[Jim doesn't answer the question put towards him, carefully avoiding it by throwing out a question in response.] "And why do you say no, Bones?"

Because- [He gestures again and no, not very gracefully.] Hell, you're my friend Jim, I couldn't just leave you there looking like a kicked puppy. You're smart as a whip and you- [He stops, frowning.] I owed you. You needed it. Take your pick, hell if I know myself.

Because I'm not some challenge for you to overcome or get bored of Jim, that's why. [He takes his shot, not quite counting anymore.]

[Jim isn't sure why he's pushing it so hard. Probably because while Uhura turns him down all the time, he at least gets a reason for it. Bones isn't giving him a decent reason because it's not like the doctor hates him.

"And if you aren't a challenge?" [he prompts, tipping his head curiously. There's another reason, he's sure of it.]

[Bones just gives him a withering sort of look before glancing to his empty glass gruffly.] Then you're insane Jim. For one thing I'm not your casual sort, for another you're Starfleet's damned poster boy, you could do better. You just don't like hearing 'no.'

"Better watch out, Bones, I might rape you in your sleep."

[Jim laughs softly under his breath. He wants to point out that the CMO of the fleet's flagship is not exactly something to scoff at but he doesn't.]

"Have you ever had a one night stand?"

[McCoy rolls his eyes, resisting the urge to kick Jim and start a shoving war. He was damned close.] Glad to see those accusations did nothing to curb your sense of humor.

Of course I have. [He snorts, reaching for the bottle again.] This isn't the damned 18th century.

"If I can't laugh about it, then it means that she won."

[Jim downs his shot finally and holds out his glass expectantly.]

"Alright then. If you haven't gotten laid in like four years, and you believe in one night stands... what's the problem again?"

It's not a war Jim.

[He sighs as he fills Kirk's drink.] One night stands are with people who mutually agree not to see each other the next day, or the day after.

"So what do you have against fuck buddies?"

Why are you so god damned persistent? [His tone is exasperated.]

[Jim smiles easily.]

"Have you looked in a mirror?"

[Withering. Look.] Yes, to enjoy all the premature age lines you give me.

"By your logic, we could have sex and then you'd never have to see me again."

No Jim, by my logic you're worth more to me than a quick fuck.

[Jim doesn't have an immediately snappy retort. It's something of a foreign concept to him to have someone just be interested in being his friend who didn't start off as his enemy. And he really doesn't have a lot of experience in people sticking around.]

"It doesn't have to be quick, Bones."

[It might be the alcohol but Bones actually laughs at that, rubbing his forehead as it dies down quickly enough.] Jesus and Mary preserve me from shameless, hot shot captains and their damned whims.

Not everything is some sort of game or test Jim.

"Yeah, it is, Bones."

[The best analogy for his mind is that it's just a large chessboard and everyone else is the opposing team and even though he sacrifices, he's going to win in the end.]

"And the sooner you realize that I always win, the better it'll be for you."

[Bones raises a brow.] I can't believe we're having this fucking discussion. No, Jim, it's not a game, I'm not a game or a distraction from your boredom. There are plenty of idiots on this ship to 'win' against. I'm sure someone here would appreciate your warped philosophies.

.020 - [Filtered to McCoy]

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