captain_jtkirk | .015

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.015 - [Voice]

[Filtered to McCoy]

[There's a lot of groaning at first because someone tried to drink his body weight in alcohol over the weekend.]

Bones... hey Bones, my head kinda feels like someone tried to bash it in with a rock. Can you fix that?

And have you seen my shirt?

Oh and... can I stay with you for a while? In case of lynching mobs? I'd ask Chekov but I kinda think that he'd scream like a girl and give me up.

So if I crawl to you, you'll fix my brain. Right? Yes? Sound like a plan?

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You really did didn't you? [He sighs.] You're a piece of work Jim. [It might be exasperated or fond. Or both really. Who knows.]

[He ponders that reward idea for a moment.] Like training a dog or working with a spoiled brat. Hell, it's worth a shot.

[Jim shrugs.] "It was my dad's car. Frank was gonna sell it. I stopped him from selling it." [He neglects to mention that his brother ran away from home on that same day because it doesn't seem as important. Death defying leaps are away cooler.]

"Just... think of how you'd get me to do something and then apply it to him. But I only listen to you because you give me free booze and patch me up when I need it."

[Bones just raises his brow, regarding Kirk a moment before apparently accepting the words.] Couldn't have hid it no, had to drive it off a cliff. At least you didn't crash it into something. [It takes a lot of effort not to go into stats and injuries for car accidents. You're welcome.]

[And he snorts.] Oh gee, thanks Jim, no need to be so touching with your reasoning there. [He rolls his eyes.] He's a spoiled brat who's never been told no. You worked for what you got, with a lot of trouble along the way- that and you're a decent guy when you're not mutinying.

"Yeah, Bones, I really should have hid the car. On a farm. In Iowa." [Kirk rolls his eyes right back at the man, because clearly the only place in Iowa that he's ever been is that shuttle they met on. Because Iowa is flat, flat, and more flat with an added dose of tattle tales who would've told Frank where the car was anyway.]

"I really don't like hearing no, so it's kind of the same thing." [There's a compliment somewhere in what Bones said and that makes him smile to himself.] "I'll still shoot him if you want."

What, don't you people have corn fields? [He waves his hand as if that were an obvious solution. As far as he knew of Iowa it was.]

Yes, but at least you expect to work for a yes if you hear 'no.' [He gives Jim a scowl.] No shooting- phaser, gun, I don't care. I'll just have to patch him up again.

"Corn dies in the fall, Bones. And then it doesn't grow back tall enough to hide a car until like July." [Jim gives him an equally obvious look because it makes sense to him. He didn't want Frank to have it at all. So destroying it was the best idea.

The young captain smirks and makes the sign of a gun with his fingers.] "Please. Stuns don't hurt and you'd love to shut up him for a while."

Fine, fine, it was logical to drive it off a cliff. [Too bad Spock wasn't there, he always enjoyed the look he got for daring to defile the sacred word. Snarking at Jim was workable too.]

[Bones swats at the 'gun.'] Remember that little bit about doctors 'doing no harm?' That counts for their trigger happy friends too.

"Thanks, Spock."

[The hand gesture persists, despite the fact that McCoy pretty much slapped his hand.] "Funny, they never taught me that in the command track. You must have forgotten that I'm not a doctor."

Do I look like a green blooded computer to you?

[Bones rolls his eyes at his failed attempt.] No, you're a hot shot space captain. What the hell do they teach you on the command track, shoot and run?

"The blue makes it a little confusing." [Kirk points at his own chest, like that proves his point. Even though he's not wearing his gold command tunic at the moment.]

"Generally they teach you how to aim and then shoot and then run away if you feel that's the best course of action. I'm personally not a fan of it."

Maybe you should start color coding us. [His tone is dry and his brow is quirked at that.]

What, you prefer the stand, shoot, get shot a few times so the away team needs to drag your ass back to the CMO approach?

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.015 - [Voice]

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