.004 - video

[captain_jtkirk]

I don't think these things are malfunctioning at all but if it's just an excuse to roll call, then I'm Captain James T. Kirk. My friends call me Jim.

[He tips the communicator to the side, and there's Spock. Looking stoic as always.]

And that's Spock. Don't worry kids, he always looks like that. He won't bite.

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[daxattack]

[Holy.

Rancid.

Qovpatlh.

Just the most famous human in Starfleet history, on her data PADD. She is chalking this up to wormhole distortions.]

Captain Kirk. [Despite the uniform, if Jadzia's history is right (it is), Trill isn't yet a member of the federation. So her outfit alone is already one violation of the temporal prime directive.]

It's an -- [nope, can't say honor!] -- interesting hour to find a stranger's face in my bedroom.

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[captain_jtkirk]

[Pfft temporal prime directive is not a real thing.]

One might say there's no bad hour to find a stranger in your bedroom if they're good looking enough.

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[daxattack]

[It is the REALEST OF THINGS, she once had a hand in accidentally making the universe disappear. They put it back, though.]

If being the operative word, I believe.

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[captain_jtkirk]

I like what I'm seeing.

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[daxattack]

[Kirk, you are earning that reputation. But Jadzia finds this all incredibly entertaining, and sits up a bit further in her chair.]

Screens can be deceiving. I could be running a distortion matrix. I could be an aged Klingon outcast, with a very strange hobby.

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[captain_jtkirk]

[He has a reputation???]

I doubt that.

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[daxattack]

[MAYBE.]

Never doubt the bored, disgraced warrior.

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[captain_jtkirk]

Does this bored, possibly disgraced warrior have a name?

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[daxattack]

Most warriors do.

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[captain_jtkirk]

If you don't tell me your name, I'll have to make one up for you.

[That's right, Jim Kirk recycles lines.]

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[daxattack]

[Shameful, Captain.]

I'm Linda.

[That's a 23rd century name, right? Right.]

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[captain_jtkirk]

[How would he know?]

I would not have said you look like a Linda.

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[daxattack]

I wouldn't have said that you look like a James, but the universe is a vast and mysterious place.

[logistical]

[Except Spock finds you very suspicious :|]

May I ask to whom we are speaking?

[daxattack]

[Haha and now it's Spock. Sure. Why not!

P.S. Dax has gone on record saying that you're a hottie.]

You may ask anything you like.

[logistical]

Your name, and the Stardate.

[Perfectly professional.]

[daxattack]

I have both of those things. Thank you for your inquiry.

[logistical]

May I ask what they are?

[daxattack]

As I said, you are free to ask whatever you like. I don't see that I am under any particular compunction to answer.

[There is no "I" in troll, but there is in trill, so that's close enough.]

[logistical]

[. . .]

[Do you know what a Vulcan looks like when he's being trolled? No? Now you have a front row seat.]

How are you acquainted with the Captain and Doctor McCoy?

[daxattack]

[She respects your record of service immensely, Ambassador, but Vulcans are just really, really fun to mess with.]

Another excellent question. I command your sense of dedication to your fellow officers.

[Private]

[logistical]

[She is aware of him, Kirk, and Bones. He does not recognise the uniform, which makes it likely that she is from the future, and thus might know him as an Ambassador. The question is, which future. He locks the feed.]

What is the status of Vulcan?

[Private]

[daxattack]

[The question stays her game. Her smile shifts into something more cautious.

What is the status of Vulcan? What is the status of Trill? Of Bajor?]

Why do you ask?

[Private]

[logistical]

It is possible you are from a divergent timeline, and thus, familiar with a different version of myself, the Captain, and Doctor McCoy.

[A pause, almost ominous.]

What is the status of Vulcan?

[Private]

[daxattack]

And while that remains a possibility, and not a fact, I hope you will appreciate which one of us is in a more temporally stable position to answer questions.

[Though she doesn't particularly want to mimic his question. Why Vulcan? Even at the worst of the Dominion war, they were firmly members of the Federation. Perhaps she's inadvertently opened communication with the mirror universe. It wouldn't be the first time.]

So, you tell me. What is the status of Vulcan?