captain_jtkirk | .016 - I don't think any part of this post is public, sorry :c

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.016 - I don't think any part of this post is public, sorry :c

[Private to the Admiral]

Please bring Shego back.

[Filtered to Shego's friends - you decide if you're on this filter. Oh yeah and it's Text cause Kirk is pissed :c]

Shego was murdered today. She's fine now. She's in the Infirmary. The person who did it is in Zero. I'm not going to tell you who it was, so don't even ask. If you can figure it out, then congratulations. I'm just not encouraging any reciprocal violence.

I ask that you refrain from going to visit her for at least a day.

Please.

[Private to Seven]

Your Inmate is in Zero. I stunned and put him there for killing Shego. I trust that you're going to take adequate care of this from this point forward. [read: Punish him before I kill him and you :c]

[Private to Tim]

Please cooperate with me on this. I don't know what I'm going to do yet but don't expect any alone time with Shego for a while. I know you're upset and worried, and so am I but I need you to put being her boyfriend on the back burner for a few days.

[Private to Leia]

What am I doing here

I don't

I guess it doesn't really matter if I'm here or not.

[Spam for Shego]

[Kirk hasn't moved from her bedside since the Incident. The second he got the Joker into Zero, he made his way back to the Infirmary to take up a seat and viciously attack his PADD with a stylus while he tried to write something that wasn't conveying every single bitter feeling he was going through at the moment. It ended up being something that he gave up on for a few hours, going back to tinkering with the biosensor program he'd started to develop, which was just so utterly useless right now that it just made him even more irritated.

Goddamn the Joker. And goddamn this place. And especially goddamn Shego because he wasn't sure, he couldn't know until she woke up, but he would bet his ship and his life that she'd antagonized him further.

Jim was torn between wanting to hug her and then strangle her. So he just settled with glaring at her unconscious form.]

[ooc: So it has yet to be completely logged out but Naomi and Nemo have assured me that the Joker is going to off Shego in this thread and then Naomi said to just go ahead and do the warden thing today, the day it happened, as opposed to waiting on it to finish. So I am. It is also being assumed that Kirk stunned the Joker and threw him in Zero.]

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Well. That didn't really clarify how much detail he wanted, did it?

"Had a fight with the Joker. He won." She gave him a baleful look. "Evidently."

"Shego," Kirk snapped at her, glaring right back in her direction. "All of it. What did you do?"

"We decorated a common room together, he threw a bauble at my head, I pushed a Christmas tree on top of him, things kinda deteriorated from there. I don't remember the last five minutes so well."

Not that the whole pushing-a-Christmas-tree-on-top-of-a-guy bit wasn't a massive indicator that she could've done more to defend her own life or anything.

Kirk brought a hand up to rub at his forehead, just... trying to keep a cool head so he didn't say the wrong thing. "What did you say to him? Why weren't you carrying the phaser?"

"I told him he sucks at applying lipstick." That was literally the only thing she could remember just then, but it probably spoke of a lot of other baiting. "Phaser was in my other pants, I guess." She sounded calm.

That calm was probably was snapped his control.

"Goddamnit, Shego. This isn't something you get to brush off like it's no big deal. You died, yet again. And don't you dare tell me it wasn't your fault. You baited him. You can defend yourself better than that, we both know that, even without the phaser. This isn't a game. This isn't funny. This isn't something I'm going to drop eventually if you don't care about it long enough."

He paused for a moment and then lowered his hand. "Talk to me, right now about what's going on with you. No playing dumb. I can tell that something's wrong. Quit it with the simple answers. Grow up and start facing it, because I care what happens with you and I am not letting it go."

'Yet again'? That felt kind of harsh. The last couple times hadn't been her fault, not really. It wasnt like she had some gigantic terrible rep for reckless self-endangerment, was it?

Kirk's anger felt somewhere distant and only slightly relevant, but she wasn't going to lie or dissemble because she just wanted whatever the easiest path back to peace and quiet was. She closed her eyes and told him the truth.

"I couldn't sleep."

Edited 2010-12-07 06:44 (UTC)

Her confession seemed to make him clam down, even just a little bit. Even if he was still ticked off because of this, he could wait until after she had rested more.

"And now?"

She was kind of surprised he was accepting insomnia as a reason for assisted suicide but, whatever. Maybe he was rationing out the righteous rage.

"I don't know."

"Well, I'm glad that it was worth it then," Kirk snapped before he could stop himself. He'd been trying to work on filtering what came out of his mouth.

She rolled onto her side for ease of staring at him. "Don't bottle it all up, Jimmy. Tell me how you really feel."

"Shut up, Shego." That was maybe the first time he'd ever snapped at her like that. "You do not get to give me attitude right now."

She flinched. Physically flinched, her body shifting across the bed away from him.

God, that was embarrassing.

But she'd told him as much of the truth as she felt like she could communicate and now her responses had boiled down to attitude or silence, she chose the latter, drawing her sheets up to her neck and looking anywhere but at her Warden.

When she flinched, he felt a flash of guilt for kicking her while she was down, waking up with the Death Toll was no walk in the park. But she brought it on herself, he had to remind himself of that.

"I'm taking away your free time. I don't know if you're acting like this for attention or if you're so unstable that I can't trust you alone, but we are going to be spending every moment of the day together from now on."

So he was taking her every waking moment and her social life. Awesome. Maybe she should just start calling him Dr. D and complete the picture. Shego was thinking it viciously at him but didn't say it.

"You do realize that by suggesting I did this for attention, you're basically saying that I'm as bad as Joker?"

"Then maybe you are. Getting yourself killed because you can't sleep? Because you're having a hard time and instead of asking for help, you just self destruct? That's stupid. It's stupider than I ever gave you credit to be."

"I already asked for help." She gave a one-shouldered shrug. "I let Snape break my arm and fix it so he'd give me something to help me sleep, but then I ran out. So."

"You did what?" Kirk didn't know about that until right now. He hadn't thought it was possible to be even more mad at her but apparently it was.

"So help me god, Shego, you better tell me every other stupid thing you've done in the past two weeks."

"Actually, I think I'm done. Beat up Joker, died hideously, woke up, got my arm broken, got my arm unbroken, baited Joker and then let him strangle me. That's it."

Kirk was silent for a moment before he spoke, quietly, "Did I make a mistake in bringing you back then?"

"I'm not suicidal, Kirk."

"Then what the fuck do you call what you just pulled?"

"I don't know. But it's not really suicide so much when you're over it in a week."

"You went out of your way to die. You made it happen. That's fucking suicide. You really think that's going to help you sleep better? Knowing that you let someone else kill you? Do you have any idea of how insane that sounds?"

"OF COURSE I FUCKING KNOW."

She shoved the sheets away from her body in a sudden hot rush of rage, swinging her legs over the side, her forearms engulfed in green energy. She'd wanted to get up off the bed and walk away but it wasn't happening; this was her third death toll and she hadn't understood they got worse until she realised she could barely feel her leg.

"You think I like being this total psychotic? You think I like being compared to Joker? You think I'm having fun?!" She reached out for something, anything to take her rage out on, grabbed a jug of water on the nightstand and hurled it at the opposite wall. It was plastic and clattered harmlessly to the floor, which made her even angrier.

"I hate this. I hate that this fucking place finally got to me. You want to know why I thought it'd be a good idea? I DON'T KNOW." Mostly using her arms, she hauled herself off the bed and turned to face Kirk, her legs numb and shaking underneath her. There were tears pouring down her face. She knew it was ugly.

"After the engine room I came back and I was broken, okay? I came back and I was wrong. And if I died again I thought - fuck, I don't know - "

Her legs gave out. She slid down to her knees, arms splayed across the bed, her face against the sheet.

.016 - I don't think any part of this post is public, sorry :c

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Re: [Spam] - you know what, insomnia is a great reason for suicide :c

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Re: [Spam] - yeah it is because i'm there and it sucks :c

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