.001 - And it begins

Captain's Log
Stardate 2258.63 62... fuck it. I've always hated dates. It's 2258 last I checked. That's all I need.

Jim Kirk here. I appear to have been relocated to a primitive space vessel. Which I thought, Admiral, when you said you needed me on a different ship for a while, that it would be, I don't know... shiny. New. With private bathrooms for everyone.

I feel like a drink. Anyone care to join me?

.002 - Here inmate, inmate

Alright, which one of you criminals is Prefect?