captain_jtkirk | .026 - Kirk is a five year old.

[Kirk levels him with a hard look, crossing his arms over his chest and slouching further in his chair.]

"Your point?"

Are you alright? [He asked, returning the hard look levelly.]

"I've been better."

[Maybe if he keeps talking in short sentences, Bones will get the hint that he's tired of talking about it.]

I hadn't noticed. [McCoy glowered at him, throwing his hands up.] God damnit Jim, what do you want from me? You go to Shego and you get pissy when you assume I'm sick of you, I come here to clear things up or let you get whatever fight it is out of your system and you close up. [He sighs.] I don't understand what you're going through since that other McCoy apparently had the same damned life as me up until you waltzed in.

"I'm just sick of talking about it, okay? And I'm sick of thinking about it. You ever think about where your life would be if you didn't get divorced? If you and your wife had found a way to make it work? Do you think you would've been happy with Joanna and Jocelyn, being a doctor in Georgia?"

[He sighs, stopping his rant for a half second before he goes right back into it.]

"Because I'm looking at what happens when my dad lives and I am so sick of feeling like it wasn't worth it. It's not even wishful thinking. It actually happened to him. And it sucks. It sucks a lot. I'm so jealous of him sometimes that it feels like I can't breathe and I hate that because my family is a pack of assholes that don't deserve the time of day from me.

So that's what I'm going through. Does that enlighten you at all?"

[McCoy raises an eyebrow.] Yeah it does Jim. 'What if,' I've asked myself that for years. It's not something me or anyone else can give a piece of sage advice about and clear your head. One day you wake up and you realize what you have isn't so damned bad.

[He rubs his forehead.] You're a good friend Jim, even if you're an insufferable asshole sometimes. You've been better to me than Jocelyn was when I needed her. Even if the other McCoy has a god damned white picket fence down in Atlanta I didn't make out empty handed. I'll take what we got. [He sighs.] This talk is giving me a headache.

"I've had a headache for the past week." [Jim confesses quietly, rubbing at his temple a little bit.]

"I was happy with what I have. I am happy with it. I don't need anything more than a starship, a star to guide her by, and the best damn crew in the 'Fleet including my best friend and I've got that. I just... being around him makes me crazy. I don't need to ride horses with my dad or know where Sam is but I want it and I dunno if you've noticed but I really hate not getting what I want."

I noticed. [McCoy snorts.] He's never going to stop making you crazy or wanting Spock around you're never going to stop wanting a family even if yours is a bad bunch. You're a good captain and leader, you'll learn to deal with it Jim. I hate to break it to you but this isn't those hopeless scenarios you can go and prove wrong.

"No such thing as a no-win scenario, Bones. It's just that the win seems really shitty sometimes."

[He stands up suddenly and gestures that McCoy does the same.] "I'm going to give you a really unmanly hug right now, and you're just going to have to accept that."

Oh yeah, then what's the win here?

[McCoy's brow raises at that request but he stands up, rolling his eyes.] How did you bitching about how I'm getting sick of you turn into "unmanly hugs" exactly?

"I dunno, cause I have weird abandonment issues?" [He makes it sound like it's a joke when it really, probably actually isn't.

Jim moves into McCoy's personal space, looping his arms around the doctor's neck and pulling him in close, resting his head against Bones's shoulder for a second.]

"If you are gonna ditch me for the other me, you should tell me sooner rather than later so I can make his murder look more like an accident."

[McCoy sighs- lord knew that abandonment issue remark was true- wrapping his arms firmly around Jim in return. 'Unmanly' he said, McCoy nearly snorts in amusement at that.

Though the next bit out of Kirk's mouth makes him pause a beat before laughing into Jim's shoulder.] Jesus Christ, what do I have to do to prove I'm not going to go toddling after every Jim Kirk that crosses my path?

"I dunno, it was pretty easy to get you to follow me the first time. Do you like me a whole lot or somethin' Bones?" [Jim says with a tiny smirk, still holding on to Bones because whether he likes it or not, he's the only reliable emotional pillar he has to rely on.]

"Are you planning on meeting more Jim Kirks?"

What can I say, you have your moments. [McCoy answers, an eye roll in his tone even if it's not as irate and gruff as it usually is.] Even hung over and making eyes at Uhura across the shuttle.

The luck we've had I'm almost sure of it.

"Don't say that because I really will kill myself if I meet another one of my doppelgangers."

[He pulls away from Bones finally, if only because he feels like he's moving past unmanly into something else entirely.]

Try to keep the murder suicides to a minimum. Anyway at this rate mine will be next. [He doesn't sound thrilled at that prospect. He watches Jim pull away, hand raising to pat Jim's arm awkwardly before turning his head.] So how's that headache?

[Jim arches his eyebrow a little bit at the arm pat, filing it away for later inspection.]

"It's just a tension headache, doctor. It'll go away when I'm not tense anymore."

I'm half expecting a dirty joke at that comment. [He crosses his arms, doctor mode, and looks back.] I'd offer to give you something for the immediate but god knows you'll just whine about it.

"Your suggestion, not mine." [Kirk retorts in an innocent voice, like it wasn't all his fault that Bones automatically thought something dirty to half of his remarks.]

"I promise not to whine if you give me the dirty stuff right now."

That's funny, I don't remember ever having to write 'blowjob' on my prescription pad before. [Bones retorts.]

"There's a first time for everything." [Jim says in that sugary sweet tone.] "Do you even have a prescription pad? Like a real one?"

How do the masses resist you Jim. [He rolls his eyes in bemusement. ]I used to. Not much use for one when you're flying around on a space ship.

"So how would you even write a prescription for a blowjob if you don't have a pad? Wouldn't it just be your professional doctor opinion? Use some of those field skills, Bones."

'Field skills' of that nature are usually reserved for night walkers Jim.

"And you're a doctor, not a prostitute, I know."

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