.004 - video

[captain_jtkirk]

I don't think these things are malfunctioning at all but if it's just an excuse to roll call, then I'm Captain James T. Kirk. My friends call me Jim.

[He tips the communicator to the side, and there's Spock. Looking stoic as always.]

And that's Spock. Don't worry kids, he always looks like that. He won't bite.

Comments

[lesliemonster]

[Somewhere, in the depths of Pawnee City Hall, Ben Wyatt's soul is crumbling. It's a quiet loss -- one that he will always feel, but never be able to give a name to. Because three rooms away, Captain Kirk's face is on Leslie's screen. And Ben can never know.]

My friends call me Leslie. Hello.

[captain_jtkirk]

[Poor Ben, you sad bastard]

Hello.

[lesliemonster]

[He can never know :c]

Are you new to the Barge? I don't recognize you from my time there.

[captain_jtkirk]

Yeah, got here like a month ago.

[lesliemonster]

Ah. I left...actually, I have no idea. I've tried to figure out the time difference on several different calendars -- solar and lunar -- but there's just not an accurate standard.

[captain_jtkirk]

That's probably for the best anyway.

[lesliemonster]

Not if you're a fan of day planners.

[AKA a true patriot.]

[captain_jtkirk]

I can't say that I am.

[logistical]

[Er.]

Hello, Ms. Leslie.

[lesliemonster]

[Ben. Would. Die.]

Hello, Mr. -- Spock?

[It's totally Spock, but she at least has to try.]

[logistical]

Mr. or Commander are acceptable.

[lesliemonster]

Which do you prefer?

[logistical]

I have no preference.

[lesliemonster]

Come on. Everyone has a preference. That's why no one calls me Barbara.

[logistical]

I do not [very slight emphasis:] have any preference.

[Just don't call him 'green-blooded hobgoblin' B(]

[lesliemonster]

Commander Spock, then. It sounds more bad ass.

[logistical]

[Right. Let's just change the subject.]

Are you acquainted with the Barge?

[lesliemonster]

[It is a COMPLIMENT.]

I am, Commander. I was a warden for roughly eight months. I've been looking forward to a communication disruption for awhile.

[logistical]

I have only come aboard recently. Do you have any advice?

[lesliemonster]

I have a binder full of it.

[No, seriously. She holds up a binder, entitled "Advice for New Wardens." It is very neatly organized, with colored tabs and everything.]

Do you have an inmate, yet?>

[logistical]

[Leslie, you are a Helper and Spock likes you.]

Yes, I have been assigned.

[lesliemonster]

[Her two actual goals in life are being helpful and being liked.

Plus being president. But the first two thing are really going to help with that.]

Okay. I might suggest switching this transmission to private -- I don't believe I can do that from my laptop. This thing can't even load itunes.

[Private]

[logistical]

The connection is now secure. You may speak freely.

[Private]

[lesliemonster]

Thank you. To whom are you assigned, Commander?

[Private]

[logistical]

Are you familiar with Aya?