captain_jtkirk | .074

I'm sorry.

I imagine that isn't good enough for a lot of you but that's all I've got. I'm already in a cell and I hear a mop calling my name.

So... there's that.

[Private to Trip]

That apology mostly goes to you. I betrayed your trust more than most.

I don't know how to make it up to you, but if you have ideas I'm all ears. Or if you want nothing to do with me that's understandable.

[Private to Shego]

We have to talk about this sometime. I can wait until the end of my time down here but we need to actually talk.

[Private to Bones]

Can I ask a favor?

[Open Spam for Wardens/Supervised Inmates]

[Kirk isn't really doing much in his cell. Reading on his communicator or playing a game of solitaire on it to help pass the time. Five days was going to seem like a lifetime since it hadn't already been one and he was bored. So really, he'd welcome the distraction of someone coming to visit, whether to check up on him or yell, he didn't care.]

[ooc; Multiple threads are welcome on the spam. Feel free to date it anywhere between today and day five of his incarceration.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"It was fine. I don't have interests that fall in line with most species, but I enjoyed the subterranean gardens very much. I felt it was fascinating that many of the planets had evolved luminescence in an area where it might not be the most helpful for their survival."

[A pause.]

"Was it a place you're familiar with?"

"Yeah. It's a big thing back home. Lots of ships will take shore leave there."

"I can see why. Are you really sorry for what you did?"

[His voice is not accusing or judging. More curious, definitely.]

"I ask because what you did required deliberate effort, and a great amount of it at that. To find and hijack the bridge, then redirect the ship to an unplanned port, would require a great deal of brainpower, in unspecific terms. And that you did this all while ignoring the obvious danger of any inexperienced creature driving something this massive because you were angry.... that I can understand. But that you've suddenly regret it without actually doing any harm - that confuses me."

[He considers, again.]

"Unless you're lying about your regret for the sake of less punishment, which I could also see."

"I don't regret it. I regret hurting certain people with it, but I had to try it. I was desperate and I have a talent for jumping without looking and finding my footing along the way. I know people want an apology, and I'll give it to them. And I'm not going to pretend like I succeeded at what I wanted to."

"That's what I thought."

[Humans saying things they don't mean. How could such an unexplainable species ever get anything done when they never actually say what they mean? And all the things they'd done, too!]

"Why do you think the Admiral would have been mad if you stole his ship? He's capable of creating things - anything, hypothetically. He could have made a new ship. Or disappeared you from existence. From what I've seen of him, the only thing he wants is to rehabilitate inmates - and if you're capable, he sees no reason to let you go."

[He meant it, just not to the Barge as a whole. Trip and Shego were the most deserving if you asked him. And Dick had said kind of the same thing. That he was just like a favorite pet or something.]

"I'm starting to doubt if he even cares about that."

Despite the daily traumas of the barge, I believe that to still be his intent. It is simply that a creature of his might cannot understand how to do so less roughly. He is too powerful to understand the human condition as it is. It would be like you attempting to decide the best course of action for algae.

"If he really cared, there wouldn't be a waiting list for my life. Simple as that."

"Death can be a learning experience."

"After three years? I've got the lesson."

"Maybe you do. But the Admiral doesn't understand that, because he doesn't understand that, because he doesn't understand what it means to be human, to be you. Maybe there's something greater in that lesson that a being like him would comprehend, that a being like you can't. Do you understand?"

[Kirk understood, he just didn't like it.]

"You seem to have it figured out, what's the lesson?"

Edited 2012-07-03 05:58 (UTC)

"I don't know what the lesson is. It's simply easier for me to comprehend a creature unable to think in the scale of humans, because it's a difficulty I sometimes struggle with myself, even with all the interaction I've had with them."

[He pauses, missing Dean for a moment. Thinking about his own inability to do things like a human would.]

"Alternately, it could be that death's impermanence - and our and the Admiral's knowledge of this fact - makes it something he simply doesn't care about. Killing you doesn't stop you from being a good warden, so there's no reason to interfere on this matter."

"Maybe I don't want to graduate anyone else for him. Maybe I'll just waste his time as much as he's wasting mine."

"If that's what you want to do, then do that. But if you could do that without endangering billions, I think we'd all appreciate that. Perhaps he'll let you go. Of course, you gamble that he won't blink you out of existence."

A pause.

"DId you really think the Admiral would care that you hijacked the barge?"

"He gets pissy with other people sometimes."

[This was an answer Castiel was not expecting. He quirks an eyebrow.]

"what for?"

"You haven't noticed?"

[That unimpressed eyebrow quirks up again.]

If the Admiral was truly mad at you, I think it'd do worse than locking you in a cell and allowing all of us to speak to you. A creature of his might could do terrible things, even on a human scale - give you cancer or take away your spinal cord or make you forget how to speak, for example.

"I bet I can name ten people who would love that I forgot how to speak." [Maybe he wasn't taking it fully seriously, because none of that stuff happened. And if it did? Bones could cure cancer probably, being dead right now would be preferable to being stuck here, and being mute would suck but Bones could probably fix that too.]

[Castiel shrugs. If Kirk doesn't want to take him seriously, that's not his problem.]

"Perhaps. I don't know what the Admiral could do as punishment, and I doubt it's something pleasant. This...."

[He gestures vaguely to the Zero walls.]

"Is for Barge people to feel bad about things. It really has anything to do with him, I think."

.074 - text

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