captain_jtkirk | lazy spam for Prefect

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lazy spam for Prefect

[Well. It wasn't really all that odd for Kirk to wake up with a hangover. It hadn't been happening as frequently lately as say, when he was twenty two, but it wasn't like he'd forgotten what it felt like.

It was however a rarity to wake up in handcuffs to someone else. Especially someone else who was about two inches away from his face.]

"... Prefect?"

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[Prefect feels a little stiff. And a little cold. And basically he feels as though opening his eyes right now would be a terrible idea, so when he hears Kirk's voice closer and louder to him than it has any right to be, he just scrunches his face up a little more.]

"Comrade, shushhh."

[Don't shush him. You are handcuffed to him.]

"... what happened last night?"

[Prefect winces again, and gives a disapproving little groan. Why, Kirk?]

"Don't know. Shushhhhhhh, please."

[He brings his hand up to try and cover his ear, and block out the soft sound of Kirk's nagging, only to find that at the exact moment he did so, Kirk decided to touch him on the face. Prefect finally opened his eyes, planning on giving Kirk the kind of look that asks: Why do you wrong me so? But this plan was averted when he saw the short chain joining their wrists, which he had just used to slap himself in the face with Kirk's hand.]

"Oh. Is this why you were asking?"

[Kirk tried to take his hand back, but that just yanked on Prefect's wrist again and they were just a pile of fail.]

"So you probably don't have the key then."

[As Kirk tries to take his hand back, Prefect finally deployed his 'Why do you wrong me so?' expression. Because why, Kirk? Why?]

"I don't know. I don't think so..."

[He pulls his wrist back to check his suit pocket, then his breast pocket, and then finally his trouser pocket, to hunt for any sign of the key.]

"No. I don't have it."

[That's good, Prefect, make Kirk grope you. That's just what he likes.]

"How much did we drink last night?"

[Finally done with making Kirk grope him, Prefect shifts onto his back, and surveys their surroundings.]

"I feel like... it was either a lot more than usual, or the same amount as usual, in a far more interesting location."

[Jim laughed a little because of that.] "That would explain the tiny miner in my skull." [Tiny pause.] "I don't think this is the Barge."

"I don't think it is either." [Prefect replies, before leaning back so that he's level with Kirk again.] "I guess... we're in a port? Extremely hung over, and handcuffed together, and in a port?" [He pauses, then glances down at the handcuffs with a frown:] "Where did we even get these, Brother?"

"Maybe the Admiral thought we were getting too tame."

"Things on the Barge have been quiet lately. I suppose this isn't actually that bad compared to what he could have done to try and make us be exciting."

[Prefect frowns. They should probably get up sometime soon, but his head is still killing him, and getting up right this instance seems like it'd be slightly ambitious.]

[Kirk is okay with lying there for a moment, but he was starting to feel the post-hangover hunger grumblings and he would be on a mission when those really hit.]

"We still don't know where we are. You can't say that yet."

"Even without knowing where we are, Comrade, I know it could be worse. You could be handcuffed to someone who wasn't me."

[Did Prefect just sass you there, Kirk? I believe he did. He couples it with a hungover little smile, because this is essentially behavior that you taught him, and he expects you to be proud of him whenever he does it.]

[Kirk is proud. And just hungover enough that he laughs.]

"Yeah, it could be Shego. And she'd try to burn me."

[Prefect's little smile spreads into a grin.]

"She'd succeed in burning you, Brother. The upside of which is that she could probably melt off the handcuffs..."

"Maybe it's good Shego isn't here then." [He took a deep breath before nodding slightly.] "Alright, let's get up. I'm hungry."

[Prefect gives a perfunctory little groan, because he's not hungry, and he doesn't want to get up and move around... but at the same time, he does kind of hold to that superstitious belief that food heals hangovers.]

"Fine. Uh, Comrade, do you have any money?"

[He shifts up, a little sulkily, into a sitting position.]

[It's not a superstition. Grease cures every single hangover that Kirk has ever had.

Jim used his non handcuffed hand to check his pockets, coming up with a credit card from one of them.]

"Yeah, guess so."

"Excellent, Comrade! Then you can be responsible with finding us food."

[Like a hunter gatherer...

Prefect cautiously props himself up into a crouch, waiting for Kirk to stand with him, so that no one has to be dragged around by the cuffed arm.]

[That's very kind of you, Prefect. Kirk pushed himself to his feet a moment later, stretching his free arm over his head.]

"I feel like a cheeseburger. Sound good?"

[Prefect nodded. Something over-processed and almost entirely composed of protien derived from heavily farmed animals sounded extremely good at that point.]

"Sounds excellent, Comrade. Through there, then?"

[He gestured past the grimy row of sinks, and toilet cubicles, towards the main exit.]

"Are we in a bathroom?" [Jim frowned at their surroundings for a moment, before tugging him towards the door. Into a strip club.]

"Huh."

[...For some reason, Prefect was not at all surprised that this was where the Admiral had chosen to deliver him and Kirk.]

"They probably don't sell food here, Comrade."

[That may have been a lie. What Prefect was more certain of was that he was far too sober to want to be in this particular location.]

[But there's pretty sluts, Prefect. And they're half naked.]

"I think maybe we should check first."

"I feel like they probably wouldn't focus too much on the food here. It would probably be bad."

[Boobs everywhere please let us leave this awful place?]

[It's the greatest place in the world :C

But Kirk sighs anyway and gestures for the door.] "Can we come back later if I give you a lot of gin?"

[Prefect accepts this offer, and sets off towards it without hesitation.]

"Comrade, if you're going to give me a lot of Gin, then you probably stand a better chance asking me again later."

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lazy spam for Prefect

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