captain_jtkirk | .057 - lol actual back :c

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.057 - lol actual back :c

[Kirk could honestly say that he'd never returned in the middle of a breach or flood or whatever before. So that was weird. And it was even weirder to not realize he was back until after it all ended, and he was in his quarters, feeling like someone had punched his heart out and then hit him in the head with a hammer at the same time. He knew it wasn't Enterprise. He couldn't hear the hum of her engines and that always gave it away.

He was back on the Barge. And he couldn't say that he fully remembered why.

Jim forced himself to his feet, fighting against the wave of nausea and dizziness that came with it and left his room, wandering for a bit before he found himself in front of Dick's door. Not Bones because he'd worry and yell and it'd be weird with Shego and well. Here he was.

He reached up and knocked lightly, not even sure if Dick was there.]

[Video--several hours post flood and chat with Dick]

I'm back.

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"Hey." Jim gave him a small smile and a shrug. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, of course," he said, stepping out of the way and slowly starting to feel the surprise burn off to be replaced by a lot more holy shit you had better not have died.

"Are you okay?"

He might've died a little bit. Jim didn't say anything until he was in the room and sitting down. Oh yeah, sitting down was nice. "Yeah, I'm just... you know."

Dick sat down next to him, kind of dreading asking the question because he was really tired of people he cared about dying or having something awful happen to them when he apparently couldn't have done anything about it, but pretty much knowing he had to. "What happened?"

Jim didn't answer right away. "I don't know. I can't--really remember."

Dick just stared at him for a long moment. "What do you mean?"

"Things just... I don't know. It doesn't matter."

"Don't give me that," he said immediately, trying not to be angry because he wasn't mad at Jim so much as mad this had happened, but definitely abandoning the false calm for actual upset. "It matters. I get it if you don't want to talk about it, but don't try and act like this isn't a big deal."

"I don't want to talk about it then."

"Fine." Then Dick is just going to sit here and brood. Some really nice, angry at the universe brooding.

Go ahead and brood about it. If Jim didn't have to talk about it, then it wasn't real and if it wasn't real, then maybe this whole thing was a dream.

Dick... isn't great about just sitting quietly and not doing anything, because he lacks healthy coping mechanisms in general but especially with people dying. "McCoy's going to fix it."

"... I know. I just--" Jim trailed off again, running his fingers over his head. "I don't know. I just don't know what to do."

Edited 2011-12-21 04:32 (UTC)

That pretty much smothered anything Dick was feeling besides overwhelming sympathy, and he put a hand on his shoulder, trying to be reassuring. "That's okay. You're allowed to be kind of a mess about this."

Jim flinched a little bit when Dick touched him, like he didn't really want to be touched right now.

"I'm not. It's just--I don't want to talk about it."

He pushed back the irrational wave of hurt at the flinch and quickly withdrew his hand, tense and upset and worried, but really not sure what Jim wanted him to do.

"Okay. Sorry."

Jim had no idea what he wanted Dick to do either. And no idea why he even came here. He should've just tried to ask the Admiral what the hell was going on or break something. Or maybe he should've gone to Bones instead first.

"No. It's not your fault. I'm just a mess."

He didn't really know what to say to that, so he just nodded, his throat feeling uncomfortably tight anyway. He really just wanted to hug him, but he held back, and really, if they were somewhere other than his room, he probably would have offered to leave.

"Do you need anything?"

Really Jim should've offered to leave. But he didn't just yet, just sat there on Dick's couch, because he didn't want to be back in his quarters right now.

"... my ship?"

"I have your dog?" he offered, not really trying to joke.

"That's a really close second," Jim answered with a small smile.

Dick smiled back and got up to go find Aristotle, returning shortly after with the dog following behind him before pretty much immediately bounding over to say hello. "I think someone missed you."

Jim smiled at the down, scratching him behind the ears right where he liked it. "Thanks for watching him."

"No problem." He sat down next to him again, watching Aristotle quietly for a few moments. "Does anyone else know you're back?"

Jim shrugged a little, continuing to bed the dog. "I came straight here."

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batmanschmatman - 2011-12-22 05:23 (UTC) - Expand

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captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com - 2011-12-22 05:39 (UTC) - Expand

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.057 - lol actual back :c

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