.044 - someone is just wishing to die

[captain_jtkirk]

There is no fucking way.

Fuck this again.

And fuck all of you.

I'm not him. I will never be him.

[Private to Shego]

You--[please don't be affected, please don't be Miss Go and know the bad Kirk :C] Where are you?

Comments

[Spam!]

[truth_is_cold]

"You're not the only one who does it to me."

[Just the one who does the most often.]

[Spam!]

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

[Jim winces, just a little bit. It's a slip of the tongue, he hopes but even being compared to the other Kirk makes him shudder.]

"Who are they?"

[Spam!]

[truth_is_cold]

[It is, fortunately. His eyes dart in the direction of Una's room, next door, but he doesn't say any names though.]

"It doesn't matter. I can take it. I'm surviving. You're worried about other people getting hurt? So am I."

[spam!]

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

"So you offer yourself as a punching bag?"

[spam!]

[truth_is_cold]

"Offer myself?" [He actually raises his voice a bit.] "Offer myself?"

[He bites his lower lip up between his teeth for a moment. Then shakes his head.] "Captain. If you know that man like you say you do, like you insist you could never be, you know he takes who he wants as a 'punching bag'.

I asked for help. My warden fled. Friends and associates have discovered it. They've died in my name, and it stopped nothing. Not from him or from anyone else. They just died and suffered uselessly. So yes, I offer myself." [Such a disgusting word. He nearly chokes on it.]

"I'm not taking the phaser. He's going to be angry enough."

[spam!]

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

[That was a stupid thing to say. Kirk realized it after it was already out of his mouth and he couldn't do anything but wince. He hates that he can't do anything tangible about this. He'd kill the other Kirk himself if he could, and not lose any sleep over it but this is a flood and they'll never meet face to face. Maybe it wasn't a very good person thing to do but he didn't care.]

"Take the phaser. Defend yourself. That's the best I can do for you."

[spam!]

[truth_is_cold]

[He manages to calm himself, but calming himself is almost as exhausting as the anger. So he sits down heavily in the nearest chair, nearly missing it.

He shakes his head again.]

"You want him dead? Give it to someone who can stand to waste the lives on him. I can't do it anymore." [At least, maybe if he does this, when the other Kirk returns he'll be so lulled by Rhade's acquiescence toward him that he could shove his boneblades into his eyes.]