.033 - [audio]

[captain_jtkirk]

[Kirk and Shego have the strangest conversations. And since he left in the middle of one, that is exactly where he's coming back, which is now gloriously broadcast to all.]

--ring dream that the Enterprise is being eaten by an octopus in space and for whatever reason, Tim is there and all he can say is 'that is so cool' like it's the realization of all his hopes and dreams. And I consider pushing him out of an airlock. Is that weird?

[Pausepause]

Shego?

Sheeeego?

It's rude to start ignoring me in the middle of a conversation, you know. We can start manners camp all over again.

Comments

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

"Yeah." She frowned. "I don't - was that worded badly? I remember nearly all of it. Literally the only thing I don't remember is anything much about the guy or thing or whatever who actually made it happen. That's gone. I mean, I remember talking to him, I even remember letting him into my room," a pause there, because Shego could almost count the number of people she'd ever let into her cabin on one hand, "I just don't remember his name or what he looked like or anything he said."

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

Jim just frowned at that because it was one thing to know something happened and then not remember it but quite another to experience what she was talking about.

"Maybe it's better that way."

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

"How could it possibly be better that way?" But after a moment she just sighed and relented. "Maybe. Whatever, all I know is that I feel like people are going to remember Other Me and think Regular Me doesn't measure up all that well." That hurt to say and she didn't bother hiding it.

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

Kirk gave her shoulders a quick squeeze in response to that. Because he knew exactly how she felt when it came to stuff like that. "No one is going to do that. Because it wasn't really you. And if they do, then I'll punch them for you."

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

"Appreciate it." She leaned into him, still moping more than a little. "So you didn't go anywhere at all? You just...popped out of existence for a month?"

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

That's right, lean on Papa Kirk. "I guess," he shrugged a little. "I don't remember going anywhere but maybe I did. Maybe the space octopus is real."

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

"Creepy." She frowned, then forced out the next words: "I'm sorry I assumed you just left and made it look like you didn't have a choice."

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

Jim gave her shoulders another squeeze because he recognized that was not said easily. Because she never apologized to him unless she absolutely felt like she had to. "If I ever choose to leave again, you'll know about it beforehand," he promised her. "And you know that at this point, I'd only go if it was an emergency."

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. I know. But it's easier to know that in theory than believe it in practice, Cap'n."

She hesitated, fidgeting. This had felt like a good run of humiliating emotional overexposure and, well, he'd proven himself in the past as being able to let their conversations not go further than the two of them.

"...There's something else. I mean, it's not a big deal but it happened."

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

Not a big deal? That was never a good preface. "What happened?"

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

"Some stuff happened with me and Tim. I..." She leaned forward, staring at the floor. "The way that I changed last week, I...I was cool with saying stuff that right now I'm not. And he asked me if I still meant what I said and I just...I couldn't say it." And then, a little bitterly: "But he could."

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

Ah. Kirk is also an expert in this kind of thing too. "Saying stuff is overrated if you ask me. Does he know you mean it? If you even do, I mean. How did he react when you guys talked?"

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

She had no idea if she meant it. She had no idea what it was supposed to mean, how it was meant to feel. And she especially didn't know why putting words to it was so goddamn important.

"I don't know, okay? I kinda....stopped talking. And I haven't heard from him since then." Tim's drunken misadventures still being a glimmer on the horizon at this point.

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

"Well. As not good as completely ignoring him is, I think you should figure it out for yourself before you can say anything to him. And if he's worth anything, he'll respect that. And if he doesn't, I'm going to shoot him."

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

That eventually forced a small smile out of her.

"This is like the twentieth time you've threatened to shoot him for something. You're never gonna get to actually do it."

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

"Little bastard. He'd probably think it was the coolest thing ever to be shot by Captain Kirk too. Which completely ruins the point." Jim tipped his head to rest against hers for a moment. "I think you care about him, for what it's worth. And I think he knows that."

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

She elbowed him in the ribs but there wasn't much feeling behind it. "I know that. He knows that. I just don't get why he needs me to staple a word to it like that'll make it more official."

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

"Because people like to hear nice things once in a while," Kirk gave her a ribbing back, always a believer in the eye for an eye thing. "I mean, would you rather I just never said that I cared about you or that I did say it like once a month?"

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

"That - that is exactly my point, Kirk. I have no preference. You don't need to say it and I don't need to hear it because I - "

She faltered, abruptly running out of steam.

" - because I already know."

I never got this tag :c

[captain-jtkirk.livejournal.com]

Well, that was nice to hear and you bet he was going to use that against her if she ever started doubting him again but. "Well, you aren't Tim. Just maybe he's one of those people who needs to hear it."