captain_jtkirk | .058 - he's alive! rejoice

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.058 - he's alive! rejoice

[Voice Post]

[Groan. Groan. Ow. Fuck he needs to stop drinking. Ow.]

Bones, don't suppose you have some kind of magical cure on--

[Cue noticing Sam Tyler. And a big ole wedding ring on his finger. Because there aren't enough of those this port. But this has been a long time coming.]

Huh.

Sam, we gotta stop meeting like this.

[ooc; As with everyone else's posts this port, spams are cool. Sam will be with him for a bit. And I'm calling this the Shotgun Wedding hangover which comes about after you've completed the marriage but have no love potion in you.

Oh and I'm back, lolyay]

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[McCoy's expression slipped from anger to shock pretty quickly, letting the ring bounce off him and onto the ground with a soft metallic ting. He didn't even look down at it, just glared daggers at Kirk as he advanced.]

Don't talk about shit you clearly don't understand Jim, as hard as it is for you to keep your massive mouth shut. [He said without the usual banter to it, all sharp.] Love being one of them.

"Shut up about how I don't understand anything about love." [Kirk yelled at him. He loved the Enterprise didn't he. And his crew. That had to count for something.]

"Romantic love isn't all there is and you fucking know it. And I'm sorry that Jocelyn is such a bitch but get over it already. She's not coming back. You're not going to be a simple country doctor from Georgia ever again and you can get the fuck off my ship if that's all you want to be."

You don't! [McCoy snapped, prodding him on the chest with a finger.] Because you won't let yourself. You're so damned convinced everyone is going to leave or die, or that you're going to die that you couldn't begin to understand the concept of forever. That's what love's supposed to be Jim, not some flavor of the month, not a bed to warm for the night or a five year mission. I wouldn't be a damned bit surprised if the only reason you could stomach loving your crew is because you assume you're going to knock off dead in a few more years without dealing with the long term.

[He faltered a bit as the rant ended, straightening.] I know, alright? I know, so leave it be. [He glanced to the side to see where Jim's ring had landed. He really wanted to throw it, though he wasn't so far gone to be that immature just yet.]

[Kirk felt like he'd been punched by that. Saying that he wouldn't have been able to love his crew because he was convinced that he was going to die in a few years. Which wasn't true. It was going to be at least a decade before he would comes close to dying, he was sure of it and that was a long time, alright.

So he decided to lash out physically. Like he tended to do. By punching Bones with his nasty right hook to the jaw.]

"My crew is the most family that I've ever had so don't you ever fucking tell me that I'd never be able to love them without some kind of consolation. "

[In all honesty he should have expected the punch, hell, he probably deserved it. He didn't think he was wrong, not completely at least, and tact had never been his strong suit. In fact it was one of the bigger reasons why Jocelyn threw him out in the first place.

He was half thinking those things after his head had snapped to the side, pain blossoming up his jaw. He could taste copper in his mouth, by the back of his teeth. He forced himself not to bring his hand up, just straightened and shoved Kirk right back, hard enough that if they weren't already in tension he probably would have fallen flat on his ass.]

Oh, you're able to love them Jim. Maybe you even do love them. That won't stop you from constantly questioning it though, will it? Or am I the only one you just can't believe wants to stick around?

"It's different with you." [Kirk spat at him, making that sound probably about as unbelievable as he could've managed and stumbling back a couple of paces. When he realized that they were in this sickening town and it was probably the most ironic fight to ever have here.]

"I know every single one of their names and where they're from and how they take their coffee if they even like it. And I plan on crying for every single one of them if and when they die because I'm not stupid enough to hope that we're all going to make it through the five year mission because we're not. It's statistical fact and I wish it wasn't true and that I never have to write a letter to someone's parents telling them that their child is dead."

[He paused for a moment, shoving Bones back.]

"You're the best friend I've ever had and I know that I won't recover if I lose you like I will if and when I lose a crewmember and I don't want some fucking predestined epic friendship with Spock. I hate destiny. It's hollow and it doesn't mean anything."

[McCoy stumbled a bit at Kirk's shove, more from the distraction of Jim's words than the force. Of course it was all things he knew, maybe a few things he didn't quite believe when his neurosis whittled him down. He felt his anger drain, which pissed him off some but not enough to keep the wrathful look on his face.]

God damnit Jim, you always say that but you never trust that I'm going to stick around. I know it's new for you, alright? But if you keep that questioning up I'm going to punch your damned lights out. [He rubbed his jaw and winced.] Maybe twice for good measure.

[He stayed silent for a few moments, scowling at the ring on the ground.] I don't love her. [He said, and it wasn't quite true.] And I followed you because I don't want to be a simple country doctor. Not anymore at least. [That was true.]

"I haven't questioned it at all since the last time we talked about it. Shacking up with Sam was not me having a panic attack. I was fucking drunk. I'm pretty sure that I pulled my phaser on him and made him do it. You brought it up."

[He wasn't going to apologize for that punch. Bones had deserved it.]

"Sure you're not. I'm not the only one with problems with relationships so stop acting like I am. Fixing me isn't going to fix you."

Helping and 'fixing' aren't the same thing. [McCoy glowered over at him before leaning to pick up the ring. He regarded it, turning it over in his fingers twice.]

And I never said I was being rational about it, alright? I told you I didn't like seeing you wear it. [He tossed the ring to the side before looking back to Kirk.] Marriage is supposed to mean forever. [And he really didn't like the idea of Jim getting whisked off forever, even if it was childish and illogical to think so. It had been a long damned weekend, he told himself.]

"We already decided it's not legally binding. Neither of us signed anything, as far as I can remember. It's port. It doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure I'm not still his owner either."

[Jim didn't make the effort to go find the ring either because it didn't matter.]

"I'm trying, okay. I can't fix it overnight."

It- [McCoy stopped himself, scowling. It did matter, because marriage mattered, it wasn't some cheap parlor trick or passing entertainment like everyone here seemed to think. It was a commitment and it was, at it's best a beautiful thing as much as it could be a horrific thing. It was something he had believed, grew up believing, still believed if he was being honest, though now things were far from the sunny, rose tinted view he was foolish enough to believe before. And it pissed him off that everyone could simply brush it off, that Jim could accept and brush it off as easily as an one night stand, even if he logically knew their drugged states made the whole thing a folly from the start.]

Forget it. [He shook his head, shooting Jim another look at using 'fix' but letting it go.] I know. [He hesitated.] Damnit, I'm sorry alright?

[Jim knew that 'I'm sorry' wasn't the same thing as 'I was wrong to accuse you of being incapable of loving your crew' but he was tired of the fighting and after that deeply emotional moment, he was ready to shut the doors on that stuff for the time being.

So he just nodded a little bit and forced himself to smile.]

"Me too."

[McCoy eyed him almost warily, torn between telling him to take that forced smile of his face or just playing along. He let some more of the tension leave his shoulders because there wasn't much more he could do than apologize and he did, round about way or not.]

Sure you are. [He said, enough good nature that it could really be taken either way.] You don't have any injuries, do you?

"My ass is kind of sore..." [Kirk said with a smirk, shaking his hips a little bit.]

[It took a lot for McCoy not to smack him right there in retaliation.] There's something to be said about being a general pain in the ass but I'm going to spare myself the trouble.

"I could be a pain in your pass." [Kirk said with a waggle of his eyebrows because he'd figured out that the best way to declare that he was over a fight was to hit on Bones. Because sex fixed everything.]

How did I know that was coming. [McCoy said, rolling his eyes.] We'll see how clean you are when we get back to the Barge.

"I didn't--" [Oh wait. He did sleep with someone. Someones. Not Sam but others. He's pretty sure anyway. It tends to happen when he's really drunk and really horny.]

"Sam and I didn't consummate the marriage." [Which is true.]

[McCoy actually looked a little surprised by that.] Why not? Too drunk to seal the deal? [He asked, eyebrow raising.]

[Have a look.]

"Or I'm not attracted to him."

You were full of some damned drug Jim. You married him. [He said with a look of his own.]

"And?"

[Kirk rubs at his forehead, sighing in frustration because this is really doing nothing for his head.]

"This might be a shock to you but I can turn people down."

Forget it. [He didn't even know how to digest that one. Marriage and no sex. Kirk was something alright.]

What now? [He asked, glancing out at the mass of hearts and general cheer with an irate eye.]

"You refrain from killing that cupid over there? I'll leave you in Kissing Town jail. Don't think that I won't."

Please, I'm sure you'd love the thrill of the rescue. [McCoy answered, rolling his eyes.] That or you'd burst in, save me then demand some sort of heroic grateful sex in return.

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