captain_jtkirk | .018 - covering his own ass

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.018 - covering his own ass

[Filtered to McCoy]

Bones, I might need you to spread word that I have some kind of medical condition that makes it so I'm physically and mentally incapable of saying no to people when they want to have sex with me. You've known me for more then a half hour, you can testify that it's true. Use all of those big words that you know. Make it sound fancy and impressive.

Also, remember when we used to have those fun sleepovers in your room at the Academy? Let's have one this weekend. So old time's sake.

[Filtered to Shego]

Dear Inmate, have you calmed down since our last conversation? I may have an outlet for your aggression if you have and before you say anything, it isn't sex. Cross my heart and stick a needle in my eye.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm listening.

What kind of combat training do you have?

Weapons, not much. Never needed them - got good aim, though. Hand-to-hand, been in some kind of training pretty much since I was able to express an interest in violence.

And I'm good. I am very good. Where's this going?

We really do have a lot in common as hand-to-hand is my specialty.

There's a gym here. Care for a little sparring match?

So in translation you're in trouble, again. My room isn't a god damned refugee camp you know.

Fine, come over and hide out. One question first though, did you know it was a flood right off the bat?

I know, I have been basically living in it since I got here.

Meet you there?

I am not in trouble. I miss sleeping with you, pumpkin.

I'm gonna go spar with my dear Inmate for a while. Then I'll be over.

I'll see you there in 15 minutes.

Nice try 'darling,' and you didn't answer my question.

I'll get the med kit ready.

Baby, I had no idea that she was under the influence of the flood for like two days. Didn't really get a chance to check, if you know what I mean.

If you're nice about it, I'll show you what I mean.

Spare me the headache Jim. I can already feel one coming on from this god damned mess.

You know I have a cure for headaches.

It's in my pants.

Funny, I recall that particular part of you being the cause of quite a few headaches when your little adventures weren't as clean as they claimed and you ended up on the bad end of a hypospray.

All I remember is the sweet caress of your tender loving care.

Incredible.

Well you'll be enjoying more of that 'tender loving care' if you keep this up. Now go vent your sexual frustration out on sparring your inmate and give me time to prepare for dealing with you for a long period of time.

If you aren't naked and waiting for me when I get there, I don't think you're preparing right, Bones.

Going now. Don't miss me too much.

Don't let the door hit your bloated head on the way out.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

.018 - covering his own ass

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OOC : OMG YOU GUYS ARE HILARIOUS. that is all.