captain_jtkirk

...Oh. Oh, fuck.

[Her eyes have widened a little, and for the first time she feels a weird sense of responsibility - it comes home to her that she knows so much more about him than he does about her right now, but he's still confiding in her which has to mean...something. Right?]

Kirk - Jim. I'm sorry.

[Fucking, damnit, he doesn't know why, but her words bring new tears to the corners of his eyes. He doesn't know why her condolences would mean any more to him than someone else's but they do. If she told him everything was going to be okay, he might actually believe it.]

I don't... know what to do now.

[Neither does she. She really doesn't. Shego's never really lost anyone as close to her as Pike was - is? Fucking timelines - to Kirk. Her parents are in their fifties, they're both fine the last she checked, and even if one of them did die she's not sure what she'd do beyond stand at the back of the funeral and not cry. They didn't really make her in the same way she knows Pike made something out of Jim. She doesn't feel a sense of debt or investment to anybody except - well. Maybe Jim. Though that's right at the top of the list of Things She'll Never Admit To Anybody Ever.]

Okay. Uh. I have, like, no idea what to say right now, but the last time you were here you taught me that hugs totally have therapeutic value in certain circumstances so barring an objection in the next three seconds, I'm gonna just...do...that.

[She really is. Enjoy your hug.]

[The noise that Kirk makes is somewhere around a laugh but it's wet because he's trying not to cry and failing at it. That does sound like something he'd say and he is definitely not putting up a fight when she comes to hug him. He just sinks into it.]

Thanks. It does help.

[It occurs to her that she is now literally being a shoulder to cry on and Kirk still doesn't really know who the hell she is or what they've been through together and she's so far outside her comfort zone that she can't even see it any more but - he needs her. So she's here. And it really is just that simple.

This is probably what love feels like, which is a thought she fences off to stare at and worry about later.]

Yeah? Good. Great.

[She squeezes his shoulders.]

It'll be okay, Jim. Don't - ask me how, or when, but - it will.

[That's not a good enough answer. That doesn't change anything. It doesn't bring Pike back. It doesn't tell him what he should do now. It doesn't solve anything. It feels like when his mom passed and everyone was so sorry about that but they didn't really have anything practical to give him.]

Yeah, it'll be okay once I kill the son of a bitch who did it.

[This might be the part of the conversation where she's supposed to say something about not heading out for vengeance, but she doesn't actually believe all that if-you-go-seeking-revenge-first-dig-two-graves crap. Maybe if it was a bit less personal, less immediate, but...it isn't.]

I know.

[When she says that, it's hard to rationalize why he just doesn't go home now and find Khan and end it.]

Spock said he's still out there.

[Which means it's time for the six million dollar question:]

Are you gonna be able to stay here and deal with your Inmate, knowing that?

[He sucks in a deep breath and lets it go slowly.]

I don't know.

Well, it's something you need to work on working out, y'know? Preferably before you get assigned.

Yeah, cause I really know when that's going to happen.

Sooner rather than later is what I actually meant.

What would you do? In my place.

[She has to put this through a filter she understands. If someone had killed Kirk, and he wasn't on the Barge, and she was free to go do something about it?]

I'd go home and kick the guy's ass.

[He nods slowly. Probably would've hated any other answer that she could have given because that's it. That's all he can think about doing. Spock failed at it, he's here and Khan's still out there and it needs to be over.]

... Thanks. I know this is probably super awkward.

[She shrugs.]

Super awkward is kiiinda how the Barge does. You get used to it.

Still sucks. And I appreciate you letting me basically cry on you.

It's okay. Probably not the first time. Though any other times, I would've been super drunk so I don't actually remember.

Nice to know you had to be super drunk to deal with me. [He's... mostly kidding.]

Yeah, your constant availability for punches in the solar plexus didn't hurt any either.

I'm going to skip those this time around if that's alright.

.008

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