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[captain_jtkirk]

Anyone want to get a drink?

[Private to Sulu + Shego ; separately]

Can I talk to you?

Comments

[composited]

Damned if I know. He's the pie nut. [ And he says this, just to irritate Ned: ] I prefer cake.

[deadly_ned]

[This admission does in fact cause the Piemaker to look vaguely unsettled and sad. He reaches behind the bar and takes out an apple pie, beginning to slice it up for Kirk and Alpha]

The logic is he tried it, he enjoyed it, and he wanted to share his experience with friends.

He said you liked apple.

[The Piemaker slides a plate to Kirk and then to his own inmate]

I know it isn't cake. I made you a cake earlier. Have pie.

[captain_jtkirk]

[You know, he doesn't think he's ever walked into a bar expecting to get drunk, and gotten pie along the way. He stares at the plate for a moment, before sending a raised eyebrow towards Alpha, as though to say really, is this happening before looking at Ned.]

Thanks. I guess. Do you always just carry around pie?

[composited]

[ Alpha can only give a yes really glance back. ]

It's his thing. Pie is his super power.

[deadly_ned]

It isn't, really. I was going to actually...find and deliver it to you right after we cleaned up.


Fork?

[captain_jtkirk]

... sure.

[Alpha, you seem to understand how weird this is truly.]

Do you two run this now or something?

[composited]

[ They've been paired less than a week and already he knows Ned is the truly weird one in the relationship... and this is coming from a guy made of people. ]

Well, apparently the old supervisor is gone, and....

Yeah. Yeah I guess we are.

[deadly_ned]

[Forever apologetic over how weird he really is, the Piemaker clenches up and hands the good captain a fork]

It's a work in progress.

[captain_jtkirk]

[It's okay Ned, Kirk likes weird on most days. Not so much today because nothing seems enjoyable, and all that depressing stuff. If they'd met under other circumstances, he'd be teasing you a lot more.

Now he's just taking the fork and eating his pie in between drinking his bourbon.]

You got anything blue back there?

[composited]

Several.

Why do you ask?

[deadly_ned]

Presumably because he wants to drink whatever's blue.


Um.


Rough day?

[captain_jtkirk]

[Kirk points a finger at Ned, as if to say got it in one. Yes, he's had a rough day and he wants to drink something blue and no he doesn't actually want to volunteer information about it.]

Anything with the word Romulan on it?

[composited]

[ He goes through the whole row of bottle. And then he produces a bottle. ]

This neon shit?

[deadly_ned]

Gggghh-!

[The Piemaker makes a noise in the back of his throat as his inmate curses...and then swallows and lets it go. People curse. Not the end of the world]

[captain_jtkirk]

That shit exactly. [Sorry Ned but actually not really.]

[composited]

What sort of serving size is it supposed to be in? Cause there ain't no books on this shit.

[ Now he's just doing it to be a dick. ]

[deadly_ned]

Really? Alpha? Really? Can we not...use language like that in front of strangers? What does it add to the conversation?

[captain_jtkirk]

[Kirk laughs. Yeah, like his ears need to be protected.]

We're not strangers, he'd my bartender.

And treat it like you would a shot, that's good enough.

[composited]

Shot of the neon blue weird-ass shit it is.

[ And there you go. Smug composite is smug. ]

[deadly_ned]

[In response, the Piemaker can only look helplessly between his inmate and Kirk]


Occasionally I feel as though everyone in this room but me has a script to this conversation and I'm about to get fired.

You do the bartender-bartendee repartee very well.

[captain_jtkirk]

I have a lot of practice.

[He says a half second before he just downs the shot of blue liquid in one go. It burns like hell, lots of alien stuff does, but it's just what he wants.]

[composited]

See? This was totally a good idea.

[ Alpha is pleased with himself. ]

[deadly_ned]

[reluctantly, and heavy-heartedly]

Yes, it was. You were right.

[captain_jtkirk]

One more step towards graduation, right?

[composited]

[ That gets Kirk a look. ]

Let's not talk about that sort of shit, huh? Not interested. Sex, politics, and the burden of the fate of ones soul are not good bar conversation.