captain_jtkirk | .057 - lol actual back :c

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.057 - lol actual back :c

[Kirk could honestly say that he'd never returned in the middle of a breach or flood or whatever before. So that was weird. And it was even weirder to not realize he was back until after it all ended, and he was in his quarters, feeling like someone had punched his heart out and then hit him in the head with a hammer at the same time. He knew it wasn't Enterprise. He couldn't hear the hum of her engines and that always gave it away.

He was back on the Barge. And he couldn't say that he fully remembered why.

Jim forced himself to his feet, fighting against the wave of nausea and dizziness that came with it and left his room, wandering for a bit before he found himself in front of Dick's door. Not Bones because he'd worry and yell and it'd be weird with Shego and well. Here he was.

He reached up and knocked lightly, not even sure if Dick was there.]

[Video--several hours post flood and chat with Dick]

I'm back.

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Jim didn't respond right away. Just stared at the ground for a couple moments before looking up at her.

"You didn't say goodbye."

Jim smiled at the down, scratching him behind the ears right where he liked it. "Thanks for watching him."

"No problem." He sat down next to him again, watching Aristotle quietly for a few moments. "Does anyone else know you're back?"

So McCoy kind of had a feeling Jim was back after that whole weird breach thing, so after the initial shock of being back had worn off, and he really sat down and thought about what had happened, he'd immediately left his room to try and find Kirk.

But honestly? He really didn't want to find him. There was only one reason why Jim would be back, and while he did really miss him, he didn't want him to be here. He shouldn't have to deal with something McCoy hadn't even really had a chance to fix yet, and no one should be stuck here against their will, without needing to be redeemed just because the Admiral had a bad sense of humor.

Jim shrugged a little, continuing to bed the dog. "I came straight here."

Jim was back. And maybe avoiding him and his room a little bit. So the best way to do that... was to wander around the hallways, Aristotle trailing behind. Fucking Barge. And fucking Bones being right about him dying.

That kind of surprised him, considering McCoy and Shego were here, but he didn't comment on it. Dick carefully reached out again, because he was a tactile person and he really wanted to do something other than just sit there. "I'm sorry."

Which meant it was really only a matter of time before they crossed paths, because the Barge wasn't really that big.

Still. When McCoy finally caught up to him, he stopped, staring, because if he'd learned one thing about the Barge, it was that it loved dicking people over. If this was just some stupid flood where for some reason, Dick had swapped places with Jim for a few days, he was going to throttle the Admiral.

"Jim?"

Jim stopped walking immediately, staring at the ground and Aristotle for a moment before looking up at Bones. A second later, all he had to offer was a shrug, as though to say, I'm back, don't rub it in and don't ask me why.

Jim flinched a little again but maybe he was expecting it this time or something. He didn't force Dick to move his hand though.

"It is what it is."

Bones just stared at him for a long moment before walking over and carefully putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He really wanted to yell at him, but that stupid kicked puppy expression made him swallow any concerned screaming back. It had been a stupid thing, to hope everything would just be fine. Shows what you get for trying to be optimistic.

And it wasn't like he hadn't yelled at him a lot already. And hit him. Twice. "I'm sorry."

[Continued from the original comment thread.]

Dick let out a noise that was somewhere between a snort of laughter and a pained grunt, because he hated this. Sitting around and not being able to do anything to help was just fucking awful. "That doesn't mean I have to like it."

Jim inhaled sharply when Bones touched him. It still felt like it was making things too real, too... goddamn his head hurt. Everything hurt really, if he was being honest about it.

"It's not your fault."

It was awful. Try being stuck here. It's amazingly awful. "Well, I'm not a huge fan either."

McCoy glared at him, because really, it felt like his fault. Yeah, maybe it was Jim being a fucking reckless idiot, too, but it was his job to make sure he got out of it alive. And this time, that hadn't been enough.

He barely hesitated before hugging him tightly, because god fucking damn it, he really didn't want this to be happening. And if he wanted to blame himself, that was his own goddamn business. "Shut up, you stupid fucking asshole."

"Do you want me to get McCoy?"

Which was really him asking are you death tolling without actually saying it.

Jim didn't really know how to react to being pulled into a hug and then being called a name. The name he could deal with but he didn't really want to be touched right now or let McCoy know that he was feeling awful. He refused to call it death tolling alright.

"Sorry. I'll try to be less of an ass."

She didn't say anything for a moment, because - well - that had been kind of an indefensible dick move on her part. She was still trying to be 'better' in some ways but all bets were off when Kirk was involved.

"I didn't - " There was no good way to end that sentence. She ploughed on anyway. "I didn't think you'd care."

Jim stared at her for a good long minute because of that. "Seriously? We spent over two years together and you still don't think I care?"

"I didn't think you'd care about whether or not I said goodbye. You didn't seem to give much of a damn either way when you left the Barge."

What part of, we aren't talking about anything bad don't you get sir.

"No, I'll find him."

"You made it pretty damn clear then that you didn't want to see me. So I respected that. But you left in the middle of the night on Enterprise."

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? If you hate that I did it - I'm sorry. I figured I was doing us both a favor."

"Well you didn't. So thanks. And you don't get any right to yell at me for leaving again."

She glowered, shifting closer so they were almost toe to toe. "If I thought you could leave any time soon I might care about that."

Edited 2011-12-23 00:09 (UTC)

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.057 - lol actual back :c

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