captain_jtkirk | .003 - food for thought

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.003 - food for thought

If out of sight is out of mind, then how does absence make the heart grow fonder?

[Private to T'Pol]

I have an odd question for you.

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[Jim starts laughing at that, passing his hand over his face in a resigned sort of way.]

"I looked her in the eye for months and said I wasn't going to give up on her and I did. That's not a learning curve. It's not a one time mistake. It's the person I am."

Will you make more promises you cannot keep? [She tilts her head a little, looking at him thoughtfully. T'Pol isn't really sure how to comfort him.]

[Kirk didn't answer that immediately. He spent a good long while staring at his fingernails, the muscle in his jaw working and then locking up the more he thought about it.]

"I don't know."

Perhaps you should find an answer, then, before you make any promises.

"Then I don't deserve to be a Warden here or a Captain back home, if I can't make anyone a promise."

[That she arches an eyebrow at.] And yet, you're both. [That's gotta mean something.]

[It doesn't really mean a lot to a guy who thinks he fails at life because he got overwhelmed once and made a selfish call because of it.]

"What would you do if you were me?"

[Well that's a tough question. Both eyebrows rise.] I would avoid making a bigger 'deal' of the situation than is necessary. [She thinks he's going to sulk. That won't do anyone any good.]

[Well, he's already sulking about it, so good try.]

"Well I'm not a Vulcan, so that might not work out."

You asked my advice. [God, stop acting like Archer.] Stop sulking.

"I'm brooding. It's different."

[And she's arching an eyebrow. Is it, Jim, really?] In what way?

[It is. Because he said so.]

"It's manlier."

[...That's officially too ridiculous for her to have an answer to. So. Just going to look on skeptically.]

[Fine. You hobgoblin.]

"I can't ask anyone to forgive me for it because I don't think I can forgive myself."

Then perhaps you should atone for your actions, instead of apologize for them.

"How?"

[Eeeeyebrow.] I think it's best you decide that.

[SUPER HELPFUL.]

"I think I should go."

[HEY, SHE DID HER PART. Aaand she nods, hands behind her back to keep from wringing them.]

Very well.

[He needs someone with feelings to talk him down, sorry.]

"Thanks again."

[...Some one with round ears might help with that.]

Of course.

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.003 - food for thought

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