captain_jtkirk | .069 - this deserves to fail school

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.069 - this deserves to fail school

[Voice - there's a long pause at the beginning before Kirk starts talking. His voice is Very Carefully Controlled which means he's upset because his biffle is gone :c]

Doctor McCoy isn't on the Barge.

Just... for your reference.

[Another long, long pause and then Kirk cuts off the transmission. EVERYTHING FROM HERE ON OUT IS TEXT. But uh, feel free to spam harass him because lol he's probably drinking :|]

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[Jim waited almost a minute before he went to answer the door, a naive hope that she'd just give up and go away. But that didn't really sound like Uhura, so he went to open the door for her. He stared at her for a moment before he sighed.]

"You know I was here for two months without any of you here. I'm not doing to die."

I should hope not.

[She stepped closer to him and looked up to him almost defiantly. She couldn't help her thoughts straying back to the port for a bit, however. No...she needn't think about that.]

But who says that I'm here for that? Maybe I just want to get drunk with you.

"You're about as subtle as me sometimes." [Jim waved his hand at her and moved off to claim his chair at his desk. It shouldn't really be that surprising that he wasn't that talkative.]

[She walked in, her hands falling to her sides, empty.] I don't want to be subtle. I just wanted to see if you were lying. And you were.

[She paused.]

Jim, who else knows what you told me in the kitchen?

"Shego." [Kirk bit down on his thumb nail for a few moments before huffing at her.] "But that's not why I'm mad. I'm not a girl."

[Uhura rolled her eyes.] No, if you were a girl, you would have been over it by now. But since you are Captain Jim Kirk, you have to lie to yourself and pretend to be okay instead of saying that you're not.

Admitting that you are upset because he left is not the same as admitting weakness. It's not a weakness to care about someone.

[Kirk didn't mention that he was upset because Bones had said that he wasn't going to leave. And now he had, to probably go back home. And Kirk wanted to go back to Enterprise and never come back here. Maybe he'd punch the asshole when he got there too for good measure.]

"Did I ever tell you that I have a brother?"

[She sat down on his bed. In retrospect, it probably wasn't the best place to be, but she didn't think about it at the time.]

You mentioned him, yes. During your hallucinations.

[Jim grimaced slightly and nodded.] "He left home when I was eight. I haven't had been as close to anyone since then except for Bones."

[Uhura looked down to the floor before putting her hands in her lap.]

Why did he leave?

[Jim just shrugged somewhat.] "Because we belong on Enterprise and not here?"

[She paused.] While that is true, that's not exactly what I meant.

[Another long pause.] I meant your brother.

[Hnnng fuck. Talking about Sam was always a bad idea.]

"I don't know." [That's a total lie but he hadn't told anyone about his conversation with Sam, when his brother asked for a reason to stay and staying for Jim wasn't enough.] "Because he was twelve and stupid and rebellious."

[Uhura stood up and walked over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.] Jim. You know McCoy wouldn't do this for any kind of stupid reason.

"He's probably doing what I should have been doing all along and that's going back to the ship."

[Jim didn't acknowledge the hand on his shoulder but he didn't shrug it off either which was like saying it was okay to be there."

[Before the port, she wouldn't have had the audacity to do such an act, but things had changed. She reached forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.]

Don't leave.

[Kirk sighed softly and reached up to touch her arm with one hand.]

"Why not?"

['Because I will miss you' did not seem the appropriate response, so she had to adjust her thinking. She did not pull away, however.]

Because you are needed here. The Admiral needs you. Shego needs you. Scotty needs you. Spock needs you. And...I need you.

"Don't give me that crap. Sixty percent of you belong on Enterprise too and the Admiral doesn't care about anybody."

[Though, he couldn't dispute the point about Shego. That was.. pretty much the whole reason he was here at all.]

[She did pull back at that.] No. I need to be here. For Paddy. Just as you need to be here for Shego. And Scotty for Mozenrath. And Spock for Dean. The Enterprise might be my home, but she is not where I, nor anyone else, need to be right now.

[Kirk snorted.] "I'm the captain. It's different."

[Uhura shook her head and returned to her spot, sitting on the bed.]

Jim, you miss him and it hurt you that he left.

That's all you need to admit.

[Kirk stared at her for more than a minute.]

"I'm going to punch him the next time I see him."

[She wanted to give up. She really did. Flopping back on his bed for just a moment, she stared up at the ceiling, annoyed.]

Because you miss him and he hurt you when he left.

"Why does it matter if I say it?"

.069 - this deserves to fail school

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