"I have a criminal record. In Iowa. Well I imagine that Starfleet did everything in it's power to expunge it after my promotion since it doesn't look good for the Captain of their flagship to be a criminal. Pike called me the only genius level repeat offender in the Midwest once." [He smiled just a bit at that because he really admired Pike for what he did.]
spam the next day for Spock
"There are some days when I want that back."